In preparation for career fair this Wednesday, students far and wide (we’re talking Health-Sciences far and the new-big-screen-in-Sanford wide) are preparing to pimp themselves out to potential employers, adding whatever resume fluffers they can think of. However, Ava Thompson, current senior and exec member of CARE, was shocked when the UGA Career Center suggested removing “Summer Internship With Local Drug Dealer” off her current resume.
After talking to Thompson, she seemed intent on keeping the experience and really committing to her women’s studies degree.
“It was a diversity thing,” Thompson said. “I’m a woman, and drug dealing, ya know, it’s a male-dominated industry. As a feminist, I plan to break the remaining glass ceilings of our generation, so I decided to start here. I won’t stop until there’s a woman working every corner.”
As this is the Career Center’s busiest time of year, they have reviewed a plethora of resumes, but none stood out like that of Thompson.
“Oh, we’ve seen it all. People disguising ‘Dawg Walking’ as ‘Leader And Supervisor Of Four-Legged Organisms,’ but we’ve never something listed that was so…illegal,” said Cheryl West, HBIC at UGA’s Career Center.
Some students seem to understand and defend Thompson’s stretch of the imagination, regarding this whole fiasco as “NBD.” Studies show this sense of camaraderie stems from the increasingly difficult job hunt college students experience year after year upon graduating.
The Black Sheep’s field reporters stopped Kyle Latham, a junior Terry major and Thompson-empathizer. “Dude, you know how hard it is to build a resume? I had to put my dad’s best friends and business partners as references even though I’ve never worked for them a day in my life. I had to like find all their phone numbers… that shit was stressful, man. I don’t blame her one bit. Plus she got free weed? That’s the dream.”
Prior to the career fair, Thompson said she is running a special–an 1/8 of Black Cherry Soda or Super Glue strains, plus free resume review–for return customers (while supplies last).
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