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UGA Frat Bro Resolves To Drunkenly Hook Up With Only 2 Girls A Week Instead Of The Usual 4

UGA’s own Chad McTool, local brother at Alpha Juul Pi. McTool, 20, told our reporters that 2018 represents an epiphany in his new emotional health and self-esteem.

“I mean, bruh, ya know, I just feel like 2k18 needa be a new year for ya boi,” McTool said in reference to his New Year’s resolution, “but, I mean, in 2017 I hooked up with like 4 bitches a week, ya feel? Now all I’m finna do is try and find the one bitch that’s for me ya got me? Ya boi needs someone to love.”

In his quest to find his soulmate, McTool told our reporters that he plans on cutting down on the amount of intercourse he partakes in on a regular basis.

“It’s like, how can I find my girl if I’m always fuckin’ around with all these other hoes? So now, I’m only tryin’ to fuck like 2 of these bitches a week so I can find my girl.”

When asked how he planned on achieving the lofty goal of finding his soulmate during 2018, McTool replied that by cutting down his usual amount of “fuckin’ these hoes,” from his usual 4 to 2 a week, it increases the probability of finding a “hoe” to whom he can really commit.

“Cuz ya know, when you get with like only 2 bitches a week, you can really find the one that’s for you. Cuz ain’t nobody wanna get with a man getting with 4 hoes a week ya feel? So if ya only get with 2, they gonna say, ‘wow you really do care about women.’ Ya know what I’m sayin?”

At this stage in the interview, it no longer became possible to properly converse with Mr. McTool as the gradually thickening Juul cloud impeded normal conversation faculties.


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