The excitement is palpable. Your weather app shows a 50% chance, then 75%, 90%… But you don’t dare get your hopes up yet. You’ve been here one too many times before. The gods of snow have some kind of vendetta against Athens. You didn’t even let yourself get excited when UGA announced a delay last night. But this morning, it’s finally here! A blanket of the devil’s dandruff and those three sweet, sweet words: ATHENS CAMPUS CLOSED. So what do you do with this marvelous day off? How ’bout any of this?:
8:00 a.m.: Turn off your alarm. No class on a snow day!
8:07 a.m.: Rip your phone from the charger and throw it through the window onto Milledge because your alarm went off again.
9:00 a.m.: Attempt to collect yourself after your hard-won battle with your brand new iPhone X.
9:15 a.m.: Wait at the Tate bus stop on your way to repair the screen on your shattered but still functioning phone.
9:44 a.m.: Continue to wait for a North-South to take you to the arch where all the real action is happening; count srat stars in duck boots to pass the time.
10:20 a.m.: Abandon transportation efforts; hike up to the DT Starbucks to warm up.
10:55 a.m.: Finally make it to the front of the line at Starbucks. Remember that they don’t accept paw points and their coffee sucks and wonder why you didn’t just go to Joe’s in the first place.
11:10 a.m.: Accept that they made you a glorified K-Cup and take a stroll down College with your piping hot cup of Keurig coffee.
11:11 a.m.: Try to limit yourself to just one Insta post of the snow as to preserve your dignity amongst friends attending school up north.
11:30 a.m.: Wander over to campus in hopes of seeing some doggos of UGA frolicking on the lawn.
12:00 p.m.: See a Facebook reminder for a snowball fight at Herty field… Pull up and notice that it’s nothing but hungover freshmen and they’ve already messed up all of the good snow.
12:04 p.m.: Excitement dwindles.
12:05 p.m.: SNOWBALL FIGHT!!!
1:30 p.m.: Forget why you wanted to hang on campus in the first place and hit up the group chat to commence squad DT efforts.
1:45 p.m.: Wander into one of DT Athens’ fine establishments that have all opened 8 hours early to accommodate the throngs of thirsty students trying to get their drank on on this most joyous occasion.
2:30 p.m.: Stop into Bourbon for old time’s sake.
2:32 p.m.: Immediately remember why you stopped going to Bourbon. ABORT, ABORT!
2:45 p.m.: Realize you lost your UGAID in the confusion at Bourbon. Scream to the top of your lungs in the middle of the Jackson-Broad intersection.
2:50 p.m.: Make several drunken cries for help in the UGA class Facebook group. Understand that no one will answer your siren song.
8:00 p.m.: Complete your 5 hour bar hop a little less steady but a whole lot chiller after the whole ID debacle.
8:05 p.m.: Eat shit trying to take a picture of the arch covered in snow. Accidentally slide through it. Never graduate.
11:55 p.m.: Think about the fact that your snow day is almost over and there is school tomorrow. Prepare to die, and prepare for many more snow days in Athens, because you’re never getting out of here now.