Most of campus is excited about UGA’s undefeated football season. However, some students are upset that the season is overshadowing another great UGA sport achievement which is that the UGA Spikeball is also undefeated. The UGA Varsity Spikeball team of 2 people are very upset and want their great athletic accomplishment recognized by the entire campus.
The senior captain of the UGA Spikeball club contacted us to bring awareness to the matter. We caught up with him at the Spikeball court, which apparently is just any field on campus that no one is using.
“It is a complete abomination of this administration that UGA Spikeball is not getting the recognition we deserve,” he shouted, “we deserve the same if not more attention than those buffoons that throw a ball around.”
Since we were not aware of this sport’s existence until they contacted and after we looked them up to make sure they were an actual thing, we asked about how the UGA Spikeball season was going.
“It’s phenomenal, we won our first and only match of the year, Spikeball Regionals. The match actually lasted .2 seconds because we were the only team to show up and won by default.”
Now given passion and enthusiasm this man has for this great sport, we wanted to get to know some of the intricacies and secrets, that we can translate to a better sport like cornhole.
“It requires you to be in complete physical shape. I train every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday by walking up the stairs from my class on the first floor of MLC to the second floor.”
Now there seemed to be some sort of grudge that UGA spikeball has against UGA football and we wanted to dive into that because we like to tease.
“Football isn’t even a real sport as far as I’m concerned. It’s nothing but a bunch of roided-up show ponies prancing around field in matching outfits and if you ask me they shouldn’t be able to call themselves athletes.”
Given the extreme nature of this event, we felt it was best to get a average student’s opinion on the matter so we did what any annoying person does and harassed people in Tate. Luckily a naive freshman Catie Cappa gave us her opinion on the matter.
“I think it’s a travesty that anyone or anything thinks they can live up to UGA football, remarked Katie,” I mean the only thing bigger than UGA football is UGA Miracle, would you donate a dollar to me for UGA miracle?”
We didn’t donate a dollar. We are deeply disheartened that UGA Spikeball feels overshadowed, well we kinda feel bad. We are hoping UGA football doesn’t screw up and we can keep bragging writes though.