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The 6 Most Outrageous Mutterings Overheard at Seidman

For any of those who don’t know, the Seidman building is the heart of Grand Valley’s college of business. On any given day of the week, Seidman is the host of an eclectic mix of students, many of whom like to talk a lot. Loudly. Between standing around in the halls and sitting in the study rooms, hearing someone say the world’s douchiest phrase is bound to happen. Here are a few examples:

6.) “The next person to ignore me about the essay question is going to meet my fists”:
Nothing like a threat of violence over students keeping their academic integrity. This hateful little monologue erupted from a student with bloodshot eyes and a nervous twitch, probably from the empty Red Bull can at his feet. Safe to say he should have studied more.

5.) “I think it’s unfair we have to know all this stuff. Those corporate fucks cheat all the time”:
This came from the mouth of someone who clearly had some conflicting ideas on right and wrong. Disliking corporations and capitalism is rad and all, but Seidman may not be the best place to “stick it to the man.”

4.) “I put that I’m passionate about account management on my resume, so why am I not getting any job offers?”:
Employers know that absolutely no one is passionate about account management, whatever that means. Pairing that and your two years of experience at McDonald’s does not make an appealing applicant. Kudos should be given, however, for the creative way he phrased this bullshit.

3.) “I’m not getting any matches on Tinder because I said I was an accounting major. Everyone hates accounting majors”:
Funny and true. If you’re seriously into math, you’re BORING. On the bright side, you’ll at least be able to get a job with your degree (lookin’ at you, art majors).

2.) “Next party I’m going to, I’m handing out business cards”:
Honestly a solid idea. Printing out a couple hundred cards and handing them out to a crowd of kids drunk on vodka lemonades may seem foolish, but making connections is key. Plus, how rad would it be to say you landed your job after lying about being affiliated?

1.) “I just know I’m getting a well-paying job as soon as I graduate”:
Sweet, sweet ignorance. May the harsh realities of the world never hurt this angel. Everyone and their grandmother knows they’re not getting a good job right away after graduation, but we’ll just let this person dream for now.

The students at Seidman never fail to share their thoughts with one another. Whether or not you’re a business major, spending a couple minutes among Seidman’s odd mutterings will leave you a changed person. Go on and give the building a visit next time you’re on the Pew Campus. 

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