For spring break, many of us head off to tropical locations to get wasted on a beach and lose our wallet or cell phone. It’s an odd ritual, but it beats the hell out of a night out at the pub (sorry Main Street). For the rest of us, we find ourselves oddly soothed by mementos of our wonderful university. Here are some of the things that keep our hearts warm during spring break. You know, besides spring. WARNING: mementos may also cause severe emotional trauma.
6.) Swiping through black and white pictures of the clock tower:
Oh, Cook Carillion you beautiful masterpiece of sound and brick; how we miss you during this week. So often we take for granted your chimes every 15 minutes, but not this week, Cook Carillion, not this week! Snap a few pics before you head off for the week, throw a black and white filter on there and think about the good ol’ days (Sarah McLachlan’s “I Will Remember You” is recommended but not required).
5.) Drafting and deleting thank you emails to T. Haas:
In light of President Haas’s recent resignation announcement, we are all much too aware of how little time left we have with him. As good Lakers, it’s our responsibility to stay up late into the night, drafting notes of gratification for the things he does for the university (black and white photos of T. Haas also work).
4.) Trying to make your own Laker bowls at home:
Now that you’ve stayed up until 3:30 in the morning reminiscing of the turkey smell in Allendale, you’ll naturally be craving that sweet relief of a Laker bowl. Especially for those graduating this semester, now’s a good time to figure out if you can actually make them. It might even make the transition to adult life more bearable. Each morsel of fried chicken and cheese will remind you just how great this school is. Trust us though, don’t use real potatoes; it’s just not the same.
3.) Missing your favorite bus driver:
During the semester, Lakers dread the walk to the bus. Now that you’re at home and comfortable (and undoubtedly still needing to procrastinate) what better to do than think about those friendly faces who get you from A to B… except when they close the door in your face. Never mind that, though! They’re the real MVPs.
2.) Texting your roommate for the first time:
It’s early March, and on about Tuesday you’re going to get sick of your parents and siblings. Not to mention, all your high school friends are garbage (or go to Ferris and can’t be spoken to). It’s time. Your loneliness will kick in and you’ll do it. You’re gonna text your roommate and see how they’re doing. You guys traded numbers in August and only speak when the other person’s dirty laundry ends up on your pillow, but maybe it’s time to turn a new leaf. This won’t last long. They’re probably in Cancun and don’t have enough data to text you anyway.
1.) Telling people in Florida what winter’s like:
Now that we’ve reached the end of the abyss of winter, and all that money you’ve saved up has gone to mojitos in Miami, it’s time to do what any good Michigander would do and explain to those nice Floridians that they have no fucking clue what winter is. This is the best way to get out all those mid-semester panic attacks and remind people that folks from the Midwest really hate winter. So go on, ruin the chances of you hooking up with that hot person by showing them pictures of snow and ice. You’ll be back in the Dale soon enough, and none of us will judge you for it.
It’s been a long stretch since we got back from winter break. Despite how bored we get here sometimes, a good Laker will be homesick in 72 hours tops. Don’t forget to bring back a shot glass or two from wherever you go. You’re gonna need it!
Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame: