Sure, Grand Valley isn’t all bad but as you walk through the flesh-tearing wind on campus, to your 6-9 you wonder if it was even worth it to enroll. Sometimes you just have to fool yourself into believing that yes, you really did pick the right college and no, you won’t regret it. Here are a few loose-lies we tell ourselves to make us feel better about our school of choice.
6.) “GVSU scheduling part 2 of a class before part 1 so I can’t take them sequentially is great!”:
Sure, you need part 1 as a prerequisite to take part 2 so you have to wait another year before taking the next class, but that just gives you more opportunities to spend money on taking other classes and broaden your knowledge and horizons! The best part is that this totally doesn’t prolong your graduation in any way.
5.) “Having a clock tower is really helpful so I’m never late for class!”:
Mhm, right. The loud chimes strengthen your hearing as you strain to listen to what someone next to you is saying. You have this giant clock that chimes minutes before the hour so you’re always early or in an all-out panic rushing to class because you thought you had more time. You may as well throw your phone or watch in Zumberge Pond because the clock tower is all you need to tell time from now on.
4.) “The reed-making room was a great investment of my tuition dollars!”:
Hooooooo-boy where would we be in life without a reed-making room? Where on earth could we possibly ever find the perfect spot to make reeds? And where could we store the most likely thousands of reeds we have on hand? Thank T. Haas there’s finally a room for this because we’ve needed one for years!
3.) “The Rapid isn’t that bad!”:
You get to meet some interesting and unique people on the bus with each ride. It’s always a surprise when each bus comes, though the schedules are posted, but that’s what makes each trip an adventure. Some days the bus might be full though the myStop app says it’s empty, you may miss the bus by 10 seconds though myStop says it’s supposedly miles away, and your driver may drive slow as hell or be the next Speed Racer; mystery is truly the spice of life!
2.) “When I graduate GVSU, it’ll be so easy to find a job with my degree!”:
So many people know what Grand Valley is and are begging to hire our alumni. That’s why our short Wikipedia page of “notable” alumni is largely graduates who used their degree to find a career in the NFL or professional baseball. Clearly, it’ll be a piece of cake for the rest of us!
1.) “GVSU is just as fun as any other college!”:
Off-campus living has just as many parties as the bigger state schools and they’re just as wild. That’s why everyone stays in town on the weekends and why soooooo many students from other schools drive here just for the parties. There’s a lot to do in Allendale too, like taking a trip to Burger King or the liquor store on 48th and choosing if you’d rather get drunk in your dorm alone or cross the street to your friend’s place and drink with them.
Maybe if you keep chanting “I LOVE IT HERE” and “EVERYTHING IS FINE” on your walk around campus, one day you might believe it.
Like booze before noon? So do these guys: