Analyzing the Ridiculous Yelp! Reviews of Main Street Pub

Getting drunk and eating at Main Street Pub is a rite of passage for every GVSU student. As college students, pretty much anything other than ramen and macaroni classifies as luxurious dining, but some people just don’t understand how incredible this place is and they’ve gone to Yelp! to voice their concerns, so we’re here to make fun of these people and their misguided expectations.

Don’t compare Main Street Pub to that Applebee’s shit. The ice cube surrounding your food was to cool it off so it didn’t burn your ass off on your first bite. You should thank them for thinking of you while they made your meal.

The sexiness of all that oil oozing out of the MEDIUM cooked burger is what makes the meal that much better. Also, you aren’t a VIP, of course you’re going to get the same burger back. Only T.Haas has the luxury to get a new one.

If it is such an average pub, why have you been there over ten times? You must be secretly in love with the food and service, but want to get attention by writing this review. So here it is Todd, your own personal shout-out. Maybe we’ll see you at Main Street Pub this weekend.

You gave them one-star, but every other sentence you wrote was positive. There’s no reason a manager should waste time on someone who can’t even write a proper review. Get it together Derick!

You need seven shots of vodka in your system right away so that we can get you a personality. This is a college town and you need to learn to blend in with the crowd. If you refuse to give in, then we’re sure Pepp’s would love to deal with you saying “fine” all the time.

He needs his medical marijuana for his “migraine headaches” that he constantly gets. But mostly he just needed it to deal with you guys. Give him a break, he’s a college student trying to pay his way through school as well as his need for marijuana to get him through the day, and you have the indecency to tip him nearly nothing? Poor guy.

All you non-GVSU students have insane expectations for the quality you should get at a campus pub. If the food doesn’t taste good to you then you probably have never had campus dining. The solution is simple, get drunk and anything you have there will taste like heaven on earth.