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Grand Valley State

GVSU Football Team Sends Homemade Apology Cards to Opponents

The GLIAC is sick and tired of GV opening a can of whoop-ass on their opponents as they out sportsmanship as a number one priority. The GLIAC has suggested GVSU apologize to the teams they decimated this season to maintain goodwill with their opponents. These apologies were noted as needing to be “sincere and heartfelt.” In response, Grand Valley State’s football team promptly released six cards in response to the decree from the commissioner.

6.) Dear Truman State:

Why did Grand Valley even waste time traveling to Missouri for this game? Rumor has it Truman State had to refund admission fees for spectators because it was that hard to watch. Good thing Grand Valley put Truman State out of their Mis-souri!

5.) Dear Davenport:

Everybody welcome Davenport to Division II! Granted, this wasn’t a fair matchup from the beginning. Grand Valley should’ve been more considerate and let Davenport get at least one field goal. Davenport’s athletic director should be looking to join a more suitable conference for the 2018 high school football season.

4.) Dear Michigan Tech:

You don’t need to watch the game recap for this one. Grand Valley was up big in warmups. Michigan Tech hoped GV’s bus would break down on the way up to Houghton. However, it didn’t, and Grand Valley still made it to Houghton in plenty of time to kick Michigan Tech’s ass.

3.) Dear Northern Michigan:

Grand Valley enjoyed sending out this card. Although the weather for homecoming included sideways rain and chilly temps, Grand Valley students were glad the Wildcats traveled all the way from the Upper Peninsula to take the L.

2.) Northwood:

Yikes! Someone ask if the Timberwolves are okay. The Timberwolves looked more like sick puppies out there on the football field. GVSU might have to apologize, but the team can at least thank Northwood for not disappointing the home crowd for Family Weekend.

1.) Dear Saginaw Valley:

BOV is rarely what anyone expects. “Battle” implies a fight between two opponents, but this year was more like a hostile takeover. Grand Valley wished the Cardinals the best of luck for next year. Unfortunately for SVSU, the football gods picked the Lakers this year (and every other year before and after).

Grand Valley promptly sent their apology cards via email to the coaches of teams they destroyed. The reception from coaches was mixed. Many of the coaches immediately moved the card to the trash bin and responded to the email with “UP YOURS” against GLIAC policy.

 

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