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A Guide to Allendale Speed Traps


Everyone knows the road from downtown Pew to Allendale is riddled with police and GVPD just waiting to screw you over on your way to class. Though some of these officers are pretty chill, given that you can probably get away with 15 over the speed limit if you’re in a group of people doing the same, but what about when you’re driving on your own? The following is a guide (with pictures!) of where to expect those pesky cops are trying to catch you in a speed trap starting at the Pew Campus to Allendale


1.) Fulton:




Although this isn’t necessarily a speed trap, it’s best to be cautious. There’s always cops doing rounds from the train tracks to John Ball Zoo and coming off the highway exit just waiting to catch you doing 50 in a 30. It’s best to just follow the speed limit, unless you’re tailing a 50 bus and they happen to be speeding.


2.) The Corner by That Church:


church corner


Once you make it up the hill to where 96 exits on to Lake Michigan Drive, you have maybe .3 miles to get your ass in a lower gear. A speed trap waits in the parking lot of the church that’s just at the top of the hill. But you shouldn’t be going fast in a church zone anyways, it’s a sin.


3.) The Speedway Across from Family Fare:




Even the cops know that Speedway is a better gas station choice over Family Fare. But, cops enjoy sitting there, sipping coffee while keeping an eye on the traffic flow. Usually, you won’t see them during the day, but late at night is when you need to worry. They typically only do rounds there at night.


4.) The Standale Firestation:




This isn’t normally a place to worry about, mostly because the cops don’t sit here unless it’s 10 p.m. or there’s bad weather, but it’s something to keep in mind when you’re trying to race home at night.


5.) The 45 Mile Per Hour Change Over Sign:




This is probably the easiest place to get caught, so be prepared. There are typically a lot of police driving around Standale, but there’s this one jerk who sits at the speed changeover by the McDonald’s. Just make sure you don’t break 45 until you’re past the sign east or westbound, and you should be good.


6.) Behind That One Pine Tree:


pine tree


You can get pretty far down Lake Mich. before running into another cop. He’ll be in the median after the bridge, sitting in front of the huge pine tree. He knows he’s hiding. He doesn’t care. Everyone else may be going 70, but you’re the one he’s going to catch.


7.) Outside the Arch: 




This is usually where the GVPD takes over, since it is just outside the campus, but it’s still good to be cautious. We’re not entirely sure how far they can chase you and still have jurisdiction, but it’s best not to test them because then you’ll owe GVSU even more money than you already do.


8.) Alumni House Circle Drive:




Now that you’ve made it onto the Allendale campus, there’s only one more place to really worry about: the circle drive of the alumni house. GVPD likes to sit there and make sure no one is tearing through campus, though we all try. Stay in a group, and you should be fine.


There you have it, a guide to speed traps from Allendale to Grand Rapids. If you happen to get pulled over, remember the first call is to your lawyer, not your mom.


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