Lakers, the fifth best holiday of the year is upon us! As Easter approaches, it’s time to consider the plethora of amazing things you get to do now that the lord and savior hath cometh again! You can decorate hardboiled eggs, eat candy, and dress up like a bunny with all of your friend(s?)… well, that’s about it. But the best way to celebrate Easter? An Easter egg hunt: Grand Valley style.
Get Some Eggs: It’s pretty obvious, but not necessary. If you’re eggless, grab some rocks from outside your dorm, your roommate’s car keys, maybe a nice wad of ten $1 bills, or even just some food. These are all easily disguisable as eggs. (Note: You could just buy those little plastic eggs, but where’s the fun in that?)
Paint Those “Eggs”: Get a little nostalgic. There’s that messy-as-hell dye stuff your mom has, but we’re thinking there’s probably a better way to make your “eggs” beautiful. Kool-Aid, paint, nail polish…The list goes on.
Recruit Contenders: You’ll need some seriously dedicated contestants to make this the hunt we know you can make. Scour a Greek house party or two and maybe raid a freshman dorm (they’ll participate out of fear). You can grab a bullhorn and walk around 48 West declaring your games an open competition.
Get A Host: T. Haas. In a bunny suit. Need we say more?
Grand Prize: We’re thinking beer. Yeah, just beer would be enough of an incentive to search the entire campus for. Or candy. Or money.
Hiding the Eggs:
Toilets: Everybody loves a little buried treasure, right? Plop a couple of them bad boys in those obscure bathrooms in that strange corner of Mackinac Hall and watch your friends try to sniff them out.
Offices: We know you’ve got at least one professor who’s never in their office for office hours, so they’re not going to stop you. Shit, fill the entire room up with eggs and leave for them to find the next time they’re in there. Make sure the eggs are real for this one though, you gotta give ‘em something to smell.
New Science Building: There is nothing more invigorating than searching for eggs in a dangerous building without lights, walls, or stability. How exciting!
That One Guy’s Car: You know… that dude in your 6-to-9? The guy in the back who has never missed a class and also has never said a damn thing? Find his car and shove some eggs in the tailpipe, he won’t complain.
Vending Machine: Pry the door open and shove those colorful bitties behind the grossest edible the machine has to offer. It’ll be months before all of those dry-ass packs of crackers fall to reveal the sneakiest of all hiding spots.
People’s Coffee: Make a friend at Einstein Bros. Bagels and have them slip an eggy treat in that there latte. Watch students cough, choke and then be elated when they collect their beer prize.
Fresh’s Food: Nothing more surprising than stumbling upon a painted treat in your noodle-stuff. Bonus is the egg is actually full of more noodle-stuff! Imagine scoring a painted wad of ten $1 bills in your broccoli cheese soup!