Fall is a busy season, especially the first two months. Between the GVSU Renaissance Festival, Battle of the Valleys, and homecoming, it can be chaos trying to keep up. Still, students were surprised when this year’s BOV began with a bang as a freshman rode through Kirkhof on an old horse dressed in full knight’s armor carrying a banner, “Let the Battle of the Valleys Commence!”
Students were confused, to say the least. “We don’t even know where he got the horse,” said Ashley Byers, a sorority solicitor in the middle of Kirkhof when the incident occurred. “The Renaissance Festival is cool, but not that cool, you know? He just HAS to be a freshman. Who else would pull that shit?”
This was strange yet understandable on Sunday when the festival was still happening, however, it was clear by Monday that this was either an elaborate prank or someone was terribly confused. Just as Laker Family Feud was about to begin, the same freshman rode in on the same horse, wielding a lance and demanding to joust a worthy opponent. “I guess they didn’t realize Family Feud was the TV show,” James Cox, a participating feuder, said. “I guess they were thinking something a little more Game of Thrones.”
What was most impressive was this confused knight in antique store armor’s appearance at GV’s Got Talent on Tuesday. Just when everyone thought he wouldn’t show up, the doors flung open, and in he rode on a very tired-looking horse. Without a word, the mysterious knight jumped up onto the stage and began twerking.
“It was a sight to behold,” Nathan Flemming said while tuning his acoustic guitar and tipping the brim of his fedora. “I didn’t think armor could move that way.”
There’s still no information about who this mystery knight is. Are they just a confused freshman who thinks the Renaissance Festival is still happening? Or are they a mad genius providing wild entertainment for the week? Where did they even get the horse? These questions may never be solved, but students are looking forward to seeing this mysterious knight at the upcoming BOV game.