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Top 10 GVSU Clubs You Would Join if They Existed

If Campus Life Night has taught us anything, it’s that GV isn’t short on club options. From Kung Fu Club to League of Legends, there’s a club for almost every niche of nerdom. However, it’s already the end of the semester and you haven’t joined any! Here’s a list of the top 10 clubs that need to exist, and you’ll surely join.

10.) Squirrel watching club:

If it’s good enough for MSU and U of M, why isn’t it good enough for us too? Sure, you’re more likely to see an opossum (or someone’s dog that looks like one), but that’s what makes it a thrilling challenge. The group would meet near Kleiner and watch the fat squirrels eating strawberry Pop-Tarts on the lawn.

9.) Shit on SVSU weekly club:

Battle of the Valleys isn’t the only time to acknowledge our bitter rivalry with the inferior Saginaw Valley. We need a club that meets once a week just to remember how terrible SVSU is and be thankful we all go to the better school.

8.) Library people watchers club:

 

The MIP Library is always full of interesting people and by “interesting,” we mean weird. Why not fulfill an anthropological itch and have a club dedicated to studying them? You can take notes on the shoe-less person on the first floor, or wonder whether or not a girl really pulled a cat from her hoodie.

7.) Starbucks is the best coffee on campus club:

Ever since Starbucks opened on campus, it’s shocking that a club surrounding it hasn’t formed yet. People need a group to get together to freak out about peppermint mochas and whatever new frappucino of sugar and sin is coming out next.

6.) Java City is were it’s at and Starbucks ain’t shit club:

It’s no secret this entire campus runs on coffee. If a Starbucks club emerges, the inevitable follow-up is a club of Java City defenders. Once the clubs have formed, the bitter debate between Starbucks and Java City will boil over into an all-out war, complete with competitions and sabotages. We hope.

5.) GVSU ghost stories club:

Who doesn’t want a club in the style of Are You Afraid of the Dark? This club could sit out near the Transformational Link at night, build a small campfire, and make up stories about people who live in the library or go on actual ghost hunts, EVP and all, in the basement of Lake Superior Hall.

4.) The thankful we’re not from Ohio club:

As much as we hate SVSU, at least we can acknowledge that they’re better than literally anyone in Ohio. This club would just get together every week, breathe a collective sigh, then do nothing for about an hour.

3.) Hiding from freshmen club:

 

This club would be for upperclassmen only. Everyone wants to dodge freshmen, but this club would teach members the best possible tactics. Whether it’s the best trash cans to dive in, or the best spots in Kirkhof to stay hidden, this club would have your back from having to see lanyard-clad nerdlings.

2.) Better poster sale club:

Everyone knows that the poster sale at the beginning of the semester has the same 10 designs as last year. This club would exist for the sole purpose of finding better posters to sell around the Clock Tower to those with $20 to spend on a piece of paper. Most of them would be of T. Haas, of course.

1.) Ultimate T. Haas fan club:

Why doesn’t this exist? T. Haas is the best thing about GVSU, and there should be a club devoted to him. Whether it’s to trade stories about seeing him out in the wild, or creating memes with his face, the Ultimate T. Haas fan club needs to happen.

With all of these in mind, start drafting an email to Student Orgs so we can see some of these come to fruition and actually make some cool shit happen around this campus!

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