Many things are given up while participating in Lent, and with GV being a campus surrounded by religious influence, it’s no surprise students went all-out this year to prove that they could finish their goal.
10.) Catholicism: God knows (literally) that Lent is the absolute worst time to be Catholic. No meat on Friday, having to give up one of your favorite things, and still having to attend confession weekly. Living in such a Catholic-dominant area, giving up religion was the best way to avoid the horrific holiday.
9.) Significant Other: Who would have thought Lent could be so useful? With a quick line of “It’s not you, it’s Jesus,” you can easily drop that tumor of a human being and get laid elsewhere. That naggy, mother-like significant other is someone else’s problem now.
8.) Sex: Everyone has heard of No-Fap November, but who ever thought of abstaining from actual sex? Nobody, because it was a stupid idea and all time was spent in front of a computer watching videos of Sasha Grey getting plowed, while crying into a pile of used tissues, wishing that was your penis/vagina/butt.
7.) Binge Drinking: It’s ‘bout time you sobered up. Lent is the perfect time to stop attending those horrible, cramped parties at 48 West and enjoy the perks of sobriety. Then again, only binge drinking was given up….so drinking a lot over the course of a few hours is okay, right?
6.) Class: Praise the Lord, Lent has given GV students a serious opportunity to skip class consistently. A quick email sent to your teacher explaining that going to class for the next month is “against your religion” is all you have to do. Why did no one think of this before?
5.) The Gym: Almost every student made a commitment once the ball dropped on New Year’s Day to work out more, and Lent gave these giver-uppers an excuse to skip the Rec Center. You’ve been looking for an excuse to get out of your personal training, and one was handed to you on a silver platter, along with a Whopper and exta-large fries.
4.) Clothes: No one will question your choices as long as you mumble “It’s what the Lord would have wanted.” Giving up clothes for Lent is the most liberating experience one could ever wish for. Even when the GV cops plaster people with tickets for public nudity, it’s easy to crumple ‘em up, throw ‘em back, and yell about how they’re “oppressing your right to freedom of religion!” Win.
3.) Pumpkin Spice Lattes: This was easy enough to give up, and a perfect way for the preacher’s daughter to exercise a little freedom. Seeing that it’s out of season, you can say it’s been given up without actually having to give it up, as everyone knows that pumpkin spice is a fall flavor. Gotta love those loopholes.
2.) Netflix: This would seemingly be the hardest, but it was actually the easiest given the various other video streaming sites on the Internet. There’s always HuluPlus. Duh.
1.) Nothing: Screw the social stigma of the Bible Belt. Lent means nothing to faithless students. These students can parade themselves about campus, feeling free and happy knowing that their liberties are not being taken due to some religious purge of Earthly sins.