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Top 10: Yaks You’ll Find on GV’s YikYak

YikYak is a new social app that is taking GV’s campus by storm. Essentially an anonymous Twitter that focuses just on the local college campus, it’s a way for everyone at Grand Valley to let out their inner asshole, secretively. 


10.) I’m Lonely: At least half of your nighttime feed is full of this crap. From people looking for cuddle buddies to homies just calling for a pal to watch Netflix with, GV students see YikYak as a perfect spot to anonymously make friends. What’s even better? You never actually meet or be social. It’s just comforting to know that there are more lonely people out there to complain with. 


9.) GVPD Complaints: These fellas, who apparently got their degrees from SVSU, have nothing better to do than to hand out MIPs to drinkers on campus. Encroaching upon college kids’ lives is what they do best. How dare they do their job. 


8.) Theme of the Night: Every night, there’s a different theme. From poop to socks, everybody chimes in with their fun story about said subject. Each topic creates a kumbaya circle of storytelling. 


7.) SpongeBob Squarepants References: “Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?” If you’re really trying to get back to your ‘90s baby roots, tune in to YikYak at all hours of the day for a nice reminder of how easy life use to be. 


6.) Annoying Roommate Complaints: Nobody likes their roommates. They do nothing but steal oxygen and take up space. These Yaks will give you insightful ways on how to get back at your roommate for whatever ungodly thing they did, such as spitting in their socks or peeing in their bed.


5.)  The Not-So-Funny Reposts: These GV students are just looking for some instant gratification. Stealing funny, popular sayings from Twitter, Facebook, 4Chan, Tumblr, or Vine, they Yak used material in order to get some upvotes, and some self-esteem.  


4.) The After-Fresh Shits: We all know that Fresh’s name doesn’t quite fit the quality of the food, but who can turn down the all-you-can-eat? We all know the only reason they post about poop is because they’re pooping. People using the app don’t even try to be subtle and will let you know when they’re in need of some more TP.


3.) Honest Questions: Some people really just need an answer, and YikYak is not the place to ask. If you want an answer to what’s on Fresh’s menu or what bus you should take to get downtown, call Student Services or check online. Your peers are not there to help. They’ll downvote you while laughing.


2.) SVSU Degrees Are Easy: From loading screens to unclogging a toilet, SVSU degrees are very easy to come by. According to some Grand Valley students, just reloading your feed can get you a degree in Computer Science. It’s a common happenstance to poke fun at SVSU here.


1.) I’m So Horny: Instead of masturbating, like every other normal person, these people treat Yaking as a mating call. The app is slowly transforming into an anonymous Tinder. These students are ready for a one-night stand, and they’re not concerned who finds out. If you want a quick, anonymous dance with no pants, just hook up the people with your Twitter and let your freak-flag fly.

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