Featuring everything from wacky comedies and stand-up specials, to action packed miniseries and enough murder documentaries to make Ted Bundy blush, Netflix really is a one-stop shop for the perfect midsummer distraction for you and your family! These Netflix shows to watch are a distraction I could really use right now, because I did a really bad thing.
6.) Arrested Development, Season 5:
The wacky shenanigans of the eccentric Bluth family only get wackier in the brand new season of the critically acclaimed sitcom! Join Michael Bluth and his crazy siblings as they embark on a nation-wide journey that will bring them closer together as a family. Speaking of long cross country drives, does anyone know what time of day the police are least likely to be on patrol? Just thought I’d ask.
5.) John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous:
I’ve had anger issues all my life but I didn’t think it would come to thi–oh shit, right: Everyone’s favorite funnyman John Mulaney is back at it again in this brand new special that’s sure to have you and your family laughing so hard that you’ll wake up the neighbors! Just tell them everything’s fine. Everything will be fine.
4.) Marvel’s Luke Cage, Season 2:
Luke Cage returns to make the streets of New York safer from people like
me criminals. Having the power of indestructibility, Cage can take a hit from any bullet or blunt object you throw his way without even flinching! I can confirm that most people do not have this power, especially my wife, Linda.
3.) Star Wars: The Last Jedi:
After months of waiting, the triumphant eighth installment of the beloved franchise has finally arrived on Netflix. The film follows Rey, Poe, Finn and the rest of the gang immediately after the events of Force Awakens and… and… do you hear that? It’s like a really faint drum off in the distance… almost like a… heartbeat. Her heartbeat. It’s getting louder. How do you not hear that? Where’s it coming from?
2.) Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt:
You know what’s not unbreakable? Monogamy. Unlike Kimmy Schmidt, monogamy is about a fragile as a newborn hummingbird. Eventually the two of you realize that, but neither of you will admit it. You both think that you can keep lying to yourselves, but after years and years of dissatisfaction…one of you finally snaps and does something rash. Like Kimmy Schmidt, skulls are also unbreakable.
1.) Big Mouth:
Honestly, I don’t care what happens next. All I care is that for the first time in 20 years, I can finally be able to watch “Big Mouth” instead of having to listen to a big mouth. No more nagging for this happy camper, no siree. Now I can finally watch as much Netflix as I want…forever.
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