“I was there man, I heard him tell it,” said an ecstatic Judith Stevens, a UIC Senior. “I witnessed one of the greatest moments in comedic history.”
Judith was one of the first seven people to hear freshman Jeff Williams’ Lecture Center D joke, which in little over a week has been agreed upon by most of the planet’s population to be the funniest joke ever written by a human. Williams was kind enough to explain the moment from his perspective.
“One of my friends said ‘yeah, my next class is in Lecture Center D,’ and then I said ‘I’ll show you my Lecture Center D,’” said Williams.
Within hours, news of the joke had spread throughout the entire city of Chicago. By day’s end, it had already made it to Canada and Mexico.
“Structurally, it is the perfect joke,” said comedy scientist Dr. Manfred Tobias. “Its creation means that we have reached Peak Comedy, which means that jokes will only get worse from this point on.”
This fact has put millions of comedians out of work, as the need for new comedy has plummeted.
“Little bastard ruined me,” said former veteran comedian turned homeless man Jerry Seinfeld.
The animosity between the UIC student and comedians reached its peak when comedians Kevin Hart, Amy Schumer, Jeff Dunham, and Hannibal Buress attempted to burn down Student Center East in a rage.
“I really didn’t put any effort into it, and I don’t think that many people have been to UIC, or know what Lecture Center D is, so I don’t know why that many people even got it. I also feel like a joke about BSB or University Hall would have been more nuanced,” said Williams.
Williams is currently in hiding after Adam Sandler attempted to murder him with a tractor stolen from the UH construction site.