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UIC Non-Major Student Overwhelmed by Science Gen-Ed

Unaware of UIC’s tough science courses, UIC freshman English major Greg Holland enrolled in Chemistry 114. After an easy couple of weeks Holland opened up to The Black Sheep about the struggles of the gen-ed course.


“This is way too much information, I’m totally overloaded,” said Holland, working feverishly on lecture notes. “After this semester I never want to hear about the molar mass of shit again.”


“Well, since my Friday discussions are entirely useless, I’ve had to spend all my free time reviewing lecture slides trying to make sense of these numbers. How do they expect me to pass this class?” Holland grunted out between gulps of Red Bull. “Honestly, I thought I had this shit in the bag. I went to every lecture and lab for the first three weeks and it was a blow-off class. Periodic Table, naming some elements, the definition of gas. You know, easy stuff.  I took one lecture off to smoke a J with my roommate and I come back to lecture slides that might as well been in Bosnian. I’m lost, man.”


“What I didn’t know is that the midterm skipped over the first few weeks of easy stuff and only tested on that crazy mole shit from week 4!” Holland said he lucked out and cheated off the kid next to him for a C, but isn’t looking forward to the second midterm.


“What’s even the deal with two midterms?” He ranted, “doesn’t midterm mean middle of the term, not one third and two thirds of the way through? Maybe these science guys should’ve been forced to take an English class.”


UIC senior Bill Wiggins, a physics major, chimed in to comment on the conundrum “I’ve definitely had tougher courses. 114 was a walk in the park. These kids come in here thinking it’s all fun and games and it gets on my nerves. We’re serious scientists here. The other day I made blue chemicals turn red and before that I burned a piece of aluminum. This school isn’t a joke.”


“I don’t know man, I just don’t know. I think this is the end. I’ve been up all week struggling to get a B. You know what I would do for a damn B?! Terrible, terrible things.” Holland said, demoralized before opening up another set of lecture notes, popping in his ear buds to heavy metal, and diving back into chemistry.

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