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5 OTHER Places to Park Now That ISU Won’t Let You Park on the Goddamn Street

With snowfall starting so late this year, it’s like the Normal PD doesn’t know what to do with themselves. They’re parking ticket hungry, so it can only be expected that they place a parking ban in Normal when we’re up to our ankles in snow. You’re lazy and refuse to walk to class, obviously, so where can you park if you can’t park on the goddamn street???? Ya know, where cars GO!

5.) Sorority house parking lots:
Sororities around campus definitely wouldn’t mind you taking up a parking spot once in a while. They’re on probation anyway, so what could possibly be going on at the house? If they try to give you a ticket because you’re not apart of their “organization”, just remind them that they basically don’t exist at this point. This parking lot? It’s public now. You might make em mad, and they might have you towed, but at least you didn’t have to walk to your 8 a.m.!

4.) That garden in the College of Business:
It’s snowing, so there’s a 99.99999% chance there won’t be anyone chillin’ in the garden at the College of Business. Just park your car there, duh. A great perk is that there’s practically no way for a cop to see your car since it’s in the middle of a whole building. Everyone waiting in line for the parking garage next to the COB will be jealous of your genius.

3.) On the bridge:
With the huge construction site formerly known as “the Bone”, this one might be the easiest. You’ll have a lot of room to get on the bridge since they’re removed practically everything from that area, and the police may think you’re just a construction worker who didn’t get the correct parking directions and spare you a ticket. But this is the Normal PD we’re talking about, so probably not.

2.) The staff parking lot that used to be ours:
There’s a good chance this may get you a ticket, if you aren’t smart enough. But we know you’re not a dummy. Simply hang a red post it note from your rearview mirror and hope for the best. They took an entire parking lot from us, so let’s take back what’s rightfully ours. We wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place if we still had that last Green Lot.

1.) McDonald’s Parking Lot:
Mickie D’s isn’t too far from campus, so it might be a best bet. The workers probably won’t even notice your car. If they can’t keep an ice cream machine in working condition, there’s a good chance they won’t notice one random car in their parking lot for more than an hour.

Hopefully the Normal PD doesn’t rip you a new one for these ~alternative~ parking spots, but they’re ruthless so we can’t make any promises.

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