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6 BloNo Spots That Turn to the Townies Once Summer Hits

It’s the end of April which means townies are getting extra anxious as the end of the school year is quickly approaches. Townies are ready to rule Bloomington-Normal again, and if you’re staying here for the summer get ready to be mistaken for one. The Black Sheep has all the spots to avoid (or not) this summer:

6.) Chasers:
The notorious basement bar is strictly off limits to anyone who isn’t an undergrad or in Greek life. Once ISU students leave, it’s a free-for-all down there. Let’s just say, Ron is happy all the youths aren’t there treating his business like a jungle gym.

5.) Drifters:
Although some may view Drifters as a place to completely let loose on the dance floor, once summer hits it’ll turn into a totally different bar. Tables appear where students once headbanged to Borgore. Monday night trivia, anyone?

4.) Tony’s Tacos:
Without drunk students hogging up the place, Tony’s Tacos becomes a wasteland of deliciousness. As summer approaches, Normal residents finally feel comfortable walking into Tony’s Tacos without being verbally harassed by a frat bro from the Lodge.

3.) Fat Jack’s:
The dance floor and catwalks will be bare, but at least the pool tables will finally be put to use. Not one tsunami will be poured all summer, since the only people who can drink that sugary crap are undergrads, because who cares about their health at this age?

2.) University Liquors:
It’s honestly a miracle that Ricky can maintain his business in the summer without every student there to buy Natty Light by the truck load. Townies will be relieved when they don’t have to make the haul to Binny’s anymore to pick up their Rolling Rock or whatever the hell they drink on Friday nights.

1.) Pub II:
Last but not least, Pub is the number one spot on the Townie takeover list. No screaming girls and no Brad and Chad pretending like they cared about a Cubs game before 2016 for an ENTIRE SUMMER! No matter what season it is, cheese balls and $5 pitchers will always lure people of all ages.

If you’re staying here for the summer, good luck. God only knows what goes down in BloNo when all the suburbinites return home to “Chicago” (Becky, NAPERVILLE IS 40 MINUTES AWAY FROM THE CITY), but we do know one thing: everything’s fun when you’re drunk.

Know anyone at one of these schools?

UNC-Wilmington –$100 BOUNTY
University of Arizona — $300 BOUNTY!
Texas A&M Corpus Christi — $100 bounty!
Auburn — $100 bounty!
Penn State — $100 bounty!
Indiana — $100 bounty!
SUNY Oswego — $100 bounty!

Refer a friend for a marketing job, get $$$$ if they’re hired! 

DM our twitter and we’ll take it from there!

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