As Valentine’s Day (the cheesiest day of the year) approaches, The Black Sheep figured you could use some advice on how to get that special someone to finally acknowledge your existence. Whether you’re single as fuck or in a relationship, these are seven totally acceptable pick up lines that only your fellow Redbirds would understand.
7.) “I must be hanging out with the ISU squirrels too much, because I want to climb you like a tree.”
Okay, so maybe the squirrel reference is a little bit creepy, but it’s definitely a solid attention getter.
6.) “Do you want to know the difference between Main Street and me? Unlike Main Street I go both ways.”
While normally we wouldn’t suggest this as a conversation starter, at least you’ll be sweet and to the point. Let’s be honest if you’re using pick up lines on Valentine’s Day the odds are you are both pretty desperate.
5.) “Do you know why they call me College Street construction? Because I take forever to finish.”
If you really want to lower someone’s self-esteem, go for it. #OneAndDone
4.) “Have you ever been to the Bone Center? That’s funny I don’t remember seeing you in my bedroom before?”
Are we talking about the Bone Center or sex? We’re sure now the object of your affection is curious to know what the hell you are talking about.
3.) “Is your name Merry-Ann? Because you look like someone I only want a mouth full of when I’m drunk.”
Nothing says ‘I want to fuck you’ quite like comparing someone to Merry-Ann’s.
2.) “Do you work at Fat Jacks? Because I just got a Tsunami in my pants.”
Who doesn’t love a good Tsunami? You might get one to the face, but hey, it’s worth a try.
1.) “Do you like the Pub’s cheese balls? Well those wont be the only balls in your mouth tonight.”
Need we say more? If this doesn’t get you laid then you are straight shit out of luck.
While normally pick up lines are straight up fucking weird and off-putting, they are completely acceptable on Valentines Day. So when you’re feeling lonely and incredibly desperate just remember to use one of these pick up lines, and you are sure to land yourself at least someone as equally pathetic as you!
Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame: