Have you ever had to endure awkward eye contact or extreme embarrassment at the sight of your mini skirt at 9 a.m.? No worries! Here’s a foolproof guide for some handy shortcuts home on those rough mornings. Never worry about being seen by your boss (when you told them you went home for the weekend) again!
(Click here to enlarge the image!)
This route is perfect for when you find yourself waking up in the police station and need to get home to Watterson. Try and refrain from walking around the Uptown Circle for too long, unless of course this is a strategy to sober up.
Constitution Trail offers a quick and easy way to travel north and south along campus. Aside from its easy to follow directions, it also has privacy – something you’ll need while shamefully trudging home.
Cutting through apartment parking lots and backyards makes for a great shortcut. Sidewalks are so last year, so make sure you’re wearing your shoes.
Dorm-to-dorm commutes are common, especially among freshmen, so this small route is useful for going from Watterson to Hewett-Manchester.
This route is great for when you wake up at The Lodge and have to get to Watterson or Hewett-Manchester. By cutting through the student and faculty parking lot, it’s likely that you won’t be spotted at all since everyone’s way too busy sleeping.
This route will take you through the Quad, and hopefully there won’t be any tours going on with prospective freshmen gawking at you. Even if there was a tour, those kids don’t know what a walk of shame is yet, so play it cool.
Walking from East Campus to West Campus can be a drag, so why not cut through the football field? Since it’s turf, your shoes won’t get dirty at all. Just don’t get caught!
Need to get to Watterson from the Flats? No worries! Hop the construction fence and run through the vacant lot! If you’re not up for that, you can always go around.
People who live at Tri Towers already know that it’s a far walk, but not with this route. Maybe you can stop and play a quick game of imaginary baseball, or jog a couple of laps to sweat the alcohol out of your system. But hey, it’s your call!
This route, just like others, utilizes parking lots and backyards, but has an optional stop. If you’re feeling queasy from the night before, indulge in some amazing tacos from Tony’s (if you’re not walking home too early, that is). Or have it for breakfast because life is too short.
Walk of shames are nothing if not strategic, so be sure to plan accordingly. It would be a real shame for you to run into your chem prof wearing only one shoe.
Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame: