Connect with us
Connect with us

Illinois State

Is It Okay To Punch Brother Jed?


Is it okay to punch a Nazi? Maybe, maybe not. It probably depends how big he is and whether or not you think you can get away before he punches you back.  After watching people debate on how ethical punching a Nazi is, we here at The Black Sheep started wondering who else might deserve a punch to the face. And then we thought of Brother Jed, the bat-shit crazy Jesus freak who yells at students that they are going to “burn in hell.” So, is it okay to punch Brother Jed in the face?

Pro-Punch: Hell yeah, it’s okay! The dude is a racist bigot! Basically, the biggest asshole cult leader who directs his minions to hold signs and yell about how gay people and non-virgins are sinners, and that girls in yoga pants are going to hell. Because, you know, that’s what the bible says. “Thou shalt not wear pants of the yoga variety” (Corinthians 15:33). Throw the dude a punch. 

Pro-Jed (Weenie): Brother Jed is a huge dick and all, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to punch him in the face. The crusty old man has a right to say awful and insane things, no matter how many people he offends. Besides, if you punched him in the face, it might provoke the almighty God to strike you down with lightening. I mean, probably not, but would you want to risk that?

Pro-Punch: He totally deserves a punch in the mouth, though. Have you heard the things he’s called students? Awful things like “whore” and “slut” and “cotton headed ninny muggings.” It’s disgusting! The only reason him and his fellow cult members show up to ISU is to piss students off before class, and then piss them off again after. If they were really followers of Jesus they’d be preaching about love, not about how women should stay in the kitchen.

Pro-Jed (Weenie): Violence is never the answer! There have been multiple times when I’ve seen students approach Brother Jed and the Campus Ministry with alternative responses to hate! Like fighting back with kind words, peaceful chants, songs and poetry. Or ya know, we could just fart on him that might get him to leave. 

Pro-Punch: Or you could just flip them off, yell at them right back, and punch Brother Jed in the face. All of those sound like a lot more fun. One time Brother Jed called a girl a slut and she flashed her boobs at him. That was pretty cool.

Pro-Weenie: They want you to get angry! The Campus Ministry loves attention, and they cum in their pants a little bit every time a college kid tells them to go fuck themselves. If you get angry, they’ve succeeded. Instead, make a fun drinking game out of their idiocracy! Take a shot every time Brother Jed points his cane at someone and tells them that they deserve hell, or that girls with short hair are lesbians, or that Jews will forever be responsible for the death of Jesus Christ.

Pro-Punch: Whatever, just punch the guy.

Continue Reading

More from Illinois State

To Top