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Subway vs. Subway vs. Subway vs. Subway: A Critique of ISU’s Campus Sandwich Spots

 

Since it’s mandatory for freshmen to live on campus for their first year, we can safely assume that most of you readers have lived in one of ISU’s famously horrendous dorms. By that logic, there’s like, a 0.02% that you haven’t been to at least one of their shitty Subways after a night of Burnett’s and blunts. If you’re one of the lucky few that’s been to more than one, then you know how monumentally different they are. And by monumentally different, we mean exactly the same.

Watterson Subway: 
It doesn’t get better than this ol’ girl. Literally, it doesn’t get any better. Luckily, it doesn’t get any worse either. The workers– *cough* –sandwich artists here might be a little asshole-ier than at your other local Subways, but at least you don’t even have to leave the building to grab a hastily-made $5 footlong. Is there even another dorm that offers that? This Subway is especially nice for Watterson dwellers who don’t want to eat a quesadilla from the DC for every meal. It’s also a nice little refuge for those who survived the 40-foot walk through the infamous Watty Wind Tunnel. 

Tri Towers Subway: 
Remember how we said it doesn’t get any better? It doesn’t. It stays pretty much the same. From what we can recall from the one time we visited a friend in Tri and got the munchies, this Subway’s a little bit smaller than Watty’s. Probably the biggest difference is that the Tri Subway offers their sandwiches on flat bread, a concept that is unheard of at the other Subways (we think?). Tri, unlike Watterson, actually has decent food at Wilkins Dining Center though, so this Subway might be a bit less crowded during the 11 o’clock drunk rush. 

Hewett Subway: 
It doesn’t get better than this ol’ girl. Literally, it doesn’t get any better. Luckily it doesn’t get any worse. The workers- *cough* -sandwi …wait, this sounds really familiar. Did we confuse this with something else? Nah, probably not. The Hewett-Manchester Subway is too unique. Offering an array of different sandwiches and toppings, this Subway is known for its “Eat Fresh” slogan, making it stand out from other Subways on campus. A favorite sub stop for all the weirdos that live in Hewett-Mann, this Subway is in a league of its own. 

BONUS Cardinal Court Subway: 
Wait, this exists? Well, there’s no way we can review it, we’ve never been there. We couldn’t possibly know what it’s like. If only there was some other, similar food establishments. We can be certain of one thing though: there’s no way their spokesperson is a pedophile. 

So, as you can see, each Subway is unique, only if it is due to the fact that they are located on different sections of campus. Now go waste all of your Flex dollars cause once you’re no longer in dorms and have meal plans, you will regret not spending every penny of those.

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