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Top 10 Places at ISU for a Valentine’s Date

 

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and we know you’re probably struggling to pull together plans in time to impress your newest sexual conquest. So, we here at The Black Sheep made it easy for you and put together a list of the top 10 places around ISU to take your date.

 

10.) Medicci:

If you take your Valentine’s Day date here, you mean business. You’re looking for a long term commitment, not just a fun fling for the weekend. Here at TBS we’re all about playing the field, but good for you!

 

9.) The Rock Restaurant:

This is the only restaurant in the Bloomington-Normal area which is owned by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (known to make surprise appearances at his restaurant, so be on the lookout). Often, the TVs at The Rock Restaurant will show the 1996 film The Rock, starring Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery. The only downside to taking a date to The Rock Restaurant is that they only serve rocks.

 

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8.) La Bamba:

A Mexican restaurant in Uptown Normal, this gem offers a wide variety of Mexican food guaranteed to make you poop your pants. Just a few short hours after your girlfriend eats from La Bamba, she’ll be all nice and ready for some “butt fun.”

 

7.) Windy City Wieners:

Located in the heart of Normal, Windy City Wieners is a perfect place for eating wieners. Maybe your girlfriend likes eating wieners – well, Windy City Wieners is the restaurant for her. Or maybe you like eating wieners, that’s fine too. At Windy City Wieners, everybody eats wieners.

 

6.) Avanti’s Italian Restaurant:

You can’t go wrong when you go to an Italian restaurant for Valentine’s Day. We’re not sure what it is about Italian restaurants that dampen women’s meat wallets, but they get ‘er done. Perhaps it’s because there are so many Italian men at Italian restaurants. That would be our guess.

 

5.) The Quad:

After you’ve eaten a nice meal, you and your girlfriend can go bang on the Quad this Valentine’s Day. Don’t worry if it feels weird: couples have sex all the time on the Quad at night. We know. We’re usually there to watch. Don’t judge.

 

4.) Merry Ann’s Diner:

Famous for its 24/7 service, Merry Ann’s is the only restaurant that will still be open at 1 a.m. when you and your girlfriend are still stubbornly arguing about where to go out for Valentine’s. Probably because your relationship suffers from poor communication and an unwillingness to compromise, among a host of other problems that will only get worse until one of you breaks it off. Anyway, check this place out.

 

3.) Hancock Stadium:

A football stadium may not be a typical place to take a date, but as many ISU students can attest, there’s no better place for having a girl’s hand on your cock than Hancock Stadium.

 

2.) Normal Water Treatment Plant:

Here’s an idea for a Tinder date: Meet up at the place where they take the shit out of water. It’s the only location on campus where your appalling lack of hygiene isn’t a problem. Seriously, the water treatment plant smells almost as bad as you do.

 

1.) McDonald’s:

Ask your girlfriend if she’d be down to eat at a cheap place like McDonald’s for V-Day. If she doesn’t smack you in the face for seriously suggesting such an idea, you know you’ve found yourself a keeper.

 

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