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10 Pick-Up Lines Only Illini Would Love

To spice up your pick-up lines, throw a little UIUC twist on them to really step up your game. These lines will for sure make Illini students really want to go home with you. Impress tonight’s date with one of these.


10.) “You’re easier than ATMS 120”:

Call’em how you see’em. To show you mean business, get straight to the point and say something that’ll get their attention. Everyone and their mother takes ATMS 120, so they’ll know you’re DTF.


9.) “If you were a Fat Sandwich, you’d be a Fat MILF”:

For those who have visited Fat Sandwich on John, you know the most attractive thing on that menu is the “Fat MILF.” To let someone know you’re really tryna bump uglies, compare them to the sexiest sandwich in Champaign.


8.) “Wanna come back to my place and ride my rail?”:

Riding the rail doesn’t just mean drinking beer ‘til you win a t-shirt at Legend’s. If you want a baddie to come get down and dirty, hit them with a nice Legend’s reference.


7.) “U and I belong together, so U should let me C your tits”:

Simple. Straightforward. Clever. What better way to get a girl goin’ wild than to use a “UIUC” pun to get someone out of their shit. This one impresses AND undresses.


6.) “I’d ride you like the 22”:

The most popular bus on campus is the perfect metaphor for riding someone else. This one says you’re down to get dirty, and you don’t care where on campus you play hide the salami.


5.) “I had to go to McKinley after I fell for you”:

Okay, this one’s a little sappy, but if the person you’re working your magic on appreciates referential humor, you’re set.


4.) “We should go to Espresso sometime, I like you a latte.”:

Asking someone on a coffee date is cute and classic, so what better way to pick up possible slams at one of the thousand Espresso Royale locations in Chambana. And they always have deals, so you don’t have to break the bank on this one.


3.) “If LOVE was written on every piece of ice in a cup at Joe’s that still doesn’t equal my love for you.”:

You know what we’re talking about. Joe’s little nugget ice allows there to be like 50 pieces of ice in your cup, which is still not enough to pronounce your love to lucky guy or gal you’re dropping this line on.


2.) “I heard they banned you from the dessert section in the Ike for being too sweet.”:

Of course your crush doesn’t compare to the cookies and cake they serve in that corner of the Ike dining hall. Make them blush with this sweet talk about everyone’s favorite dessert place in the dining hall.


1.) “Baby, if you were words in the Daily Illini, you’d be what they call FINE PRINT!”:

When you see someone fine enough to make a move on, let’em know with a DI pick-up line. People may not read the paper, but it’s still flattering to be considered the fine print of our school paper.

When your game is feeling low you can always rely on these to pick up some fine UIUC hunnies. Using any of these at the bars will be sure to have ladies dropping their pants trying to get a chance with you.

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