UIUC students are always looking for shortcuts, rather it’s cutting the line in the Ike, using the underground tunnels on the Quad or using texting acronyms. As everyone on campus downloads iOS 10, make sure to use these new UIUC-specific texting acronyms between you and your buddies.
5.) ROTLFL, HAIO (Rolling On The Lion Floor Laughing, Her Ass Is Off):
Following barn dancing with Loretta, UIUC students love nothing more than to go hit the bars and get nasty on the Lion dance floor. While twerking off that rump and using the extremity to grind with that frat guy that they barely know, it’s quite possibly that your sorority sister’s ass literally falls off. When this happens, be sure to quickly text your friend using ROTLFL, HAIO, which clearly explains that you’re rolling on the disgusting Lion floor laughing.
4.) ILY (I Lovie You):
A commonly used texting acronym when you find that special someone that you’re enamored with at the beginning of the relationship, but you know you’ll end up having the same typical disappointment. While they may buy you fancy gifts to make yourself look better, you’ll still have the same upsetting Lovie that you don’t deserve.
3.) CUAFCN (See You At Fried Chicken Night):
Every UIUC student that ever lived in University Housing has experienced (dry and) fried chicken night on Tuesdays in the Ike. Don’t even ask a friend if they’ll be joining you at fried chicken night; it’s implied that every cool college kid will be there.
2.) TBSAINSFC (This Black Sheep Article Is Not Safe For Class):
This one isn’t technically an acronym, but with so many The Black Sheep articles being shared by that Dan Stillman kid on nearly every UIUC Facebook group in existence, it’s tough to avoid the articles on your laptop during class. Before you share the article in your sorority’s GroupMe, make sure to let your sisters know that this article won’t be safe for class and needs to be read in a more sheltered area.
1.) BRBGTWYWCWNMTBIRGNTTYL (Be Right Back, Going To Walmart, Wanna Come With, Never Mind, The Bus Isn’t Running, Gonna Nap, Talk To You Later):
With 4 bus routes that head to nearly every Walmart in a 50-mile radius, you’re always looking to head off and grab those low-ass prices. Plus, it’s always polite to ask your friends if they want to go get crunk with you. However, the routes aren’t usually running, and when UIUC students can’t go out, it’s always a good decision to go take a nap. UIUC students find themselves texting BRBGTWYWCWNMTBIRGNTTYL much more than they think.
Don’t waste time texting in full sentences again. Make sure to use texting acronyms to prove to your parents that UIUC students are lazy college students and they’re making a poor investment sending you to a four-year college. Moms also love when you send them things she won’t understand, just make sure you’re expecting “K” as a response.
It’s homecoming season, so get ready for some old dudes to buy you some beer.