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6 Things to Wear to Red Lion Block to Ensure Your Peers Know You’re There to Get Shitfaced

Deciding what to wear to Block has been an Illini struggle since Block was first born. When it’s 10 a.m. and you’re getting ready for Block at Red Lion, you need to let people know that you are there for the booze, and not just for a morning stroll. Instead of standing out of the crowd, you’ll need to fit in. Here are six things you should definitely wear to Lion Block to prove to your peers that you’re there to drink the hooch:

6.) A Shirt With A Liquor Logo On It:

Wearing a shirt with alcohol on it screams that you know what alcohol is. Therefore, you are ready to consume it. With a shirt with some sort of alcoholic beverage on it, you’re practically a walking, talking advertisement for this fun beverage. Everyone knows that in advertisements for the sauce, people drink said alcohol. You’re ready for a beer that matches the one on your shirt. Neat!

5.) Oversized Shirts With Celebrity Faces On Them:

What in the world? You’re wearing someone else’s face on your shirt? That’s so wacky! Perhaps you chose to wear a musician’s face, even though you don’t even listen to his music. Maybe you chose a character from your favorite comedy show. And it doesn’t even fit you properly! What are you doing? You can’t wait to impress others with your quirky choice in clothing before you disappoint them by pissing your pants at Lion.

4.) Shirts Referring to Memes:

Alcohol makes everyone a funnier. Stay ahead of the game by wearing something that’s already hilarious before rolling up to Red Lion Block. With a meme shirt, people will assume you’ve been casually drinking and telling jokes since you emerged from the womb.

3.) Barely Anything:

It’s fucking cold outside! If you roll up to Red Lion block in a t-shirt, a stylish skirt, or anything else that doesn’t scream winter time, you are definitely there to drink alcohol. Drink enough of it and you’ll think you’re on spring break in Cabo instead of midterm season at our Midwestern university. I-L-L!

2.) Sunglasses of Any Kind:

Wearing sunglasses inside is bizarre…unless alcohol is involved, of course! Wearing sunglasses will let everyone know that you’re ready to get faded. It also gives you the illusion that you’re out of everyone’s league because you’ll look like a local celebrity hiding from the paparazzi. Another bonus is that the shades will hide the many, many bags under your eyes.

1.) A Jersey:

You don’t have to be a sports fan to look like a baller at Block. That’s right, slipping on any jersey will let everyone know that you’re the newest member of the University of Illinois drinking team. Your home field is Lion, baby. Go team! And if anyone asks you for the statistics of the player whose name on the back of your jersey, just pretend to be too drunk to answer to hide the fact you know nothing about the player or team. Welcome to the intoxication nation.

Before you can consume alcohol at Block, you have to decide what to wear to ensure you don’t look like a sober geed. If you follow one of these six options, you’ll look flawless.

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