Oh god, we’re undefeated at basketball. This won’t last forever, and even if new head coach Brad Underwood fails to turn this team around, at least he demonstrates more facial expressions in 30 seconds than Lovie Smith has shown in his entire life. With his constant yelling and flailing limbs, he totally reminds you of that mean gym teacher you had in high school. To help further this comparison, we’ve provided you with eight pictures where Coach Underwood looks like that one mean high school gym teacher you had.
8.) Arms Crossed Brad:
This picture reminds you of your gym teacher staring you down from the sidelines while you huffed and puffed your way through the FitnessGram Pacer Test. Coach Underwood and your old gym teacher’s eyes share the same look of disappointment in your performance.
7.) Hands in the Air Like He Just Don’t Care Brad:
He cares a great amount, actually. You’ve seen this body language before when, sophomore year of high school, you got distracted during the 5-on-5 basketball game in gym class and accidentally passed the ball to your crush on the opposing team.
6.) Demonstrating Expansive Wingspan Brad:
Here, Brad is seen showing his team that he has a larger wingspan than the bald eagle. Your stern gym teacher did this once while demonstrating the flexibility part of the Presidential Physical Fitness Test after gently poking fun at your man boobs.
5.) Classic Point N’ Scream Brad:
We’re unsure if this is a good or Brad thing, but it certainly includes guttural grunting of some sort. You knew something noteworthy must have happened in the dodgeball game when you looked over and saw your gym teacher doing this dance.
4.) Pouting Brad:
This look is most applicable if the Illini lose to Indiana, or if your high school gym teacher runs into you while you’re struggling to reach a box of Pop-Tarts on the top shelf at your hometown Walmart, They’re not angry, just disappointed.
3.) Fraternizing With Fellow Gym Teacher Brad:
Your high school gym teacher would positively light up when the other meathead gym teacher, Coach Chad, would pay him a visit during class. The brain cell count in the room would go down, but the joint congratulating of mean jocks in your class on their athletic talents would skyrocket.
2.) Finger Guns Brad:
There’s an extra pep in Brad’s step today, much like when the class clown slipped a Viagra pill into your crabby high school gym teacher’s coffee. Finger guns for all, even the nerds who scatter when the ball comes towards them! Your gym teacher’s love for the game of dodgeball was only heightened by the Viagra, and he personally mowed down every kid who stood in his way while yelling “Bombardment!”
1.) Super Saiyan Brad:
An Illini player must have traveled or drawn a penalty at a crucial point in the game we were bound to lose anyway, and awakened something dark inside the depths of Coach Brad Underwood. Staring at this picture, you can almost hear your old gym teacher scream, “Aw COME ON!” after his star football player somehow pulled his groin during the bowling unit.
As much as you wanted to erase those haunting memories of your old high school gym teacher reestablishing his masculinity by yelling at children, coach Brad Underwood won’t let you forget. Now if only you could crack the code of Lovie’s utter lack of body language.