Name: Val Elser
Instagram Handle: @valsyourpal10
Bar: Illini Inn
Relationship Status: Single and ready to cuff
Major: Animal science
Favorite Drink: Red Kool-Aid
Favorite Shot: Malort, what else?
Disgusting Drink: Warm Milk
Which campustown bar would you trust Illini Inn to beat out in a fistfight?:
The Office 2.
What would your “talent” be in a beauty pageant?:
Queefing on command.
What candy bar could you turn into a super dope mixed drink?:
Do you have any words for bar patrons who tip you even when they just order water?:
Way to hydrate, sir.
Will you make a yearly pilgrimage to Illini Inn postgrad?:
Hell yes, but only shitfaced on Moms Weekend to embarrass my future daughter
What’s the richest way you’ve ever witnessed someone get kicked out of Illini Inn?:
Taped to and slid out on a skateboard.
Tell us of a recent bonding experience you’ve had with Alma.:
Mhhh… I don’t kiss and tell.
Why should people read The Black Sheep?:
It’s better than no sheep.
Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb. Hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep corporate, Mackenzie Harding & Andrea Jablonski. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire. Subscribe to Talk of Shame: