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Bartender Of The Week: Val from Illini Inn

Name: Val Elser
Instagram Handle: @valsyourpal10
Bar: Illini Inn
Relationship Status: Single and ready to cuff
Major: Animal science
Favorite Drink: Red Kool-Aid
Favorite Shot: Malort, what else?
Disgusting Drink: Warm Milk

Which campustown bar would you trust Illini Inn to beat out in a fistfight?:
The Office 2.

What would your “talent” be in a beauty pageant?:
Queefing on command.

What candy bar could you turn into a super dope mixed drink?:
Reese’s.

Do you have any words for bar patrons who tip you even when they just order water?:
Way to hydrate, sir.

Will you make a yearly pilgrimage to Illini Inn postgrad?:
Hell yes, but only shitfaced on Moms Weekend to embarrass my future daughter

What’s the richest way you’ve ever witnessed someone get kicked out of Illini Inn?:
Taped to and slid out on a skateboard.

Tell us of a recent bonding experience you’ve had with Alma.:
Mhhh… I don’t kiss and tell.

Why should people read The Black Sheep?:
It’s better than no sheep.

Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb. Hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep corporate, Mackenzie Harding & Andrea Jablonski. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire. Subscribe to Talk of Shame:

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