Name: Anastasia Vorobiova
Instagram Handle: @anastasiavoro
Bar: The Red Lion
Relationship Status: Single
Major: Economics & Financial Planning
Favorite Drink: Whiskey Coke or Monster vodka
Favorite Shot: Jagerbombz
Disgusting Drink: Blue Guys
What doesn’t The Red Lion want the American public to know?:
We actually do have toilet paper, somewhere.
What’s the horrifying secret behind Vitamin Vodkas?:
It’s all bar mat juice, sorry.
What ghastly secret is hidden under the South Quad bell tower?:
Tupac, he’s been there working on his Soundcloud over there.
Why did Illinois really hire Lovie Smith?:
To get a crowd bigger than 15 people so they can do those lame card stunts during halftime.
Who really made Antonio’s close?:
An exchange student from Italy who knows quality pizza.
What tests are they running in the Psychology Building?:
A lobotomy on ISU kids to figure out why they keep coming back.
What turned the freakin’ frogs gay?:
Nikki Diaz’s dance moves.
Why should people read The Black Sheep?:
To avoid real responsibilities.