Name: Mike Koelzer
Instagram Handle: @mckoelzer
Bar: Joe’s Brewery
Relationship Status: Single
Major: Bowling Industry Management
Favorite Drink: Jagerbomb
Favorite Shot: Jameson
Disgusting Drink: Windex – all the clear rails and blue stuff.
Who are the top 3 bartenders at Joe’s?:
One man, two words: Disco. Don.
What’s an unwritten rule for Happy Hour at Joe’s?:
I’m not the man, man. Do what you want.
FMK: Captain Morgan, Sailor Jerry, Brian Bacardi:
Fuck Brian Bacardi, Marry Captain Morgan, Kill Sailor Jerry…I’ve always wanted to be a pirate.
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen in in the Joe’s lost and found?:
Definitely the Anakin Skywalker pod racer helmet that currently resides in my closet.
The Fab 5 of Netflix’s Queer Eye come to Joe’s, what’s the first thing they fix?:
What’d you call me?!
Given the old adage, “Anything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough,” how brave are you?:
Apparently not enough.
It’s been almost over a month, are you ready to talk about what you did on Unofficial yet?:
I plead the fifth.
Where’s the weirdest place you think Lovie’s been naked?:
Boneyard Creek for sure.
Why should people read The Black Sheep?:
Don’t. They gave me a platform.