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Bartender of the Week: The Newly Renovated Clybourne’s Martin


Name: Martin W.

Bar: The Newly Renovated Clybourne

Relationship Status: Single, sadly

Major: I-Health

Favorite Drink: Freshly squeezed shotgirl creampie

Favorite Shot: Emily Crawford’s power trip

Disgusting Drink: An Alaskan Pipeline


What’s the most fun game you can play with a bottle of liquor?:

Two girls, one bottle.


If girls just wanna have fun, what do boys just wanna have?:

A blumpkin.


Where would you study in Cly’s if you had to pull an all-nighter for finals and couldn’t leave?:

On Emily Daly’s rump.


What’s the best part of being in Champaign over the summer?:



What’s the worst?:

The Clybourne’s Newly Renovated Rooftop Beer Garden.


What game could you beat aliens in to save the planet from worldwide enslavement?:

Put the pin on the naughty.


Name one thing a senior should do before they graduate?:

 Have sex on top of Davenport Hall.


Name one thing a freshman should do before going home for the summer:

Motorboat the RA of their dorm.


5 words to explain your skill level in Spin the Bottle:

 Gas is what I smoke.


Why should people read The Black Sheep?:

Because Stoof McCleary will sit on your face.


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