Name: Martin W.
Bar: The Newly Renovated Clybourne
Relationship Status: Single, sadly
Favorite Drink: Freshly squeezed shotgirl creampie
Favorite Shot: Emily Crawford’s power trip
Disgusting Drink: An Alaskan Pipeline
What’s the most fun game you can play with a bottle of liquor?:
Two girls, one bottle.
If girls just wanna have fun, what do boys just wanna have?:
Where would you study in Cly’s if you had to pull an all-nighter for finals and couldn’t leave?:
On Emily Daly’s rump.
What’s the best part of being in Champaign over the summer?:
What’s the worst?:
The Clybourne’s Newly Renovated Rooftop Beer Garden.
What game could you beat aliens in to save the planet from worldwide enslavement?:
Put the pin on the naughty.
Name one thing a senior should do before they graduate?:
Have sex on top of Davenport Hall.
Name one thing a freshman should do before going home for the summer:
Motorboat the RA of their dorm.
5 words to explain your skill level in Spin the Bottle:
Gas is what I smoke.
Why should people read The Black Sheep?:
Because Stoof McCleary will sit on your face.