Over the past decade or so, Greek Life and the student body in general have found more allure in the drunken debauchery of campus bars than in grilling hot dogs in Grange Grove and hearing our team lose over the radio. This week, two of our writers argue over which alternative to watching Illini football is superior: Block or tailgating?
Original Pancake: When you see the Snapchat stories of your friends who attend Big Ten schools like Wisconsin and Michigan, are they cooped up in dark, smelly bars during their game days? Hell no! They’re out and about, getting sunburnt, drunk, and fat in nature like the football gods intended. I promise you a lot more debauchery takes place in Grange Grove than you think.
Diego Manischewitz: Drinking in Grange Grove, or the university-affiliated tailgating area, sounds like getting a handjob from your high school girlfriend while your parents are in the other room. You’re going to get caught and it’s a total buzzkill. Block is a safe zone for drinking and you have no worries about being cockblocked, unless you and your boys don’t follow the bro code, of course.
Original Pancake: That’s where you’re wrong, my friend. Drinking tickets aplenty are given out at Block, but Grange Grove is a surprisingly safe place to drink, given all the adult alumni and tents around. Champaign Police are more worried about your friend Jim’s 300lb dad getting wasted and confusing their police car engine for an outdoor grill than they are about you drinking a few Angry Orchards.
Diego Manischewitz: We’re already paying $10 cover to block the entire main bar at Red Lion for hours, anyway. What’s a drinking ticket going to do to the bottomless wallet my Napervillian parents keep refilling? Plus, you absolutely won’t miss wearing a children’s size basketball jersey while standing in the grass next to a bunch of unemployed alumni who just won’t let college go.
Original Pancake: I absolutely would miss that, because I’d rather stand outside in the wholesome grass than inside in the dingy bars with the exact same crowd of people. Frat boys at Red Lion who are peaking in college are enough to make anyone walk all the way out to Grange Grove to hammer chug a couple beers with the dads. Plus, they’ve been tailgating for decades, so they know how it’s done.
Diego Manischewitz: The university already has a weekend where you can hang out with chubby older men, and that’s Dads Weekend. And the best place to take your dad during said weekend is Block. We head off to college just to get away from our parents! You should just go to community college if you miss your daddy that much.
Original Pancake: Some of us can’t help having daddy issues, Diego. But dads love to grill, and where else on campus do you see anyone grilling besides your weird philosophy major neighbor grilling on his balcony? It’s (medium) rare that we get a chance to eat quality dogs, brats, and burgers that we don’t have to pay a cent for. But if you’d rather pay $10 cover to subsist solely off of diarrhea-inducing alcohol, be my guest.
Diego Manischewitz: I’d rather eat hot dogs from that pervert Dave and his hot dog stand. Go ahead and lock me in the Red Lion den and I’ll happily peruse the Cocktagon, because you won’t catch me dead in Grange Grove– the only exception being when the school paid thousands of dollars for a group to perform at Grange Grove that already comes to Canopy Club five times a year.