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Booze Review: Anty Gin

Drinking those watered-down mixed drinks and cheap beer sure gets old. You’re a mature college kid and need something else a little more extreme. But at the end of the day, you’re still a disgusting college kid with some pretty bad habits. You’d do some gross stuff, like drink this Anty Gin. Don’t worry, we reviewed it for you so you don’t have to bother.

Grade: C

Smells like:
Your weird roommate who shouldn’t own a real animal like a dog, so they bought an ant farm.

Tastes like:
The alcohol you were downing when you thought it was a good idea to watch A Bug’s Life.

Typical drinkers:
– The cast of Disney’s A.N.T. Farm.
– That nerd from the How To Eat Fried Worms book you read once.
– The new Fear Factor reboot hosted by Ludacris.
– The pledge who’s forced to eat some bugs to join a real brotherhood.
– People who pronounce “aunt” like “ant”.

User comments:
– “This tastes like 100 ants crawling in my mouth.”
– “Oh shit, I got a queen ant.”
– “Why does this taste like Raid? Why do I know what Raid tastes like?”
– “I feel like gin has gone way too far. I think we need to stop drinking.”

Best described as a drink superior to:
A boring old gin and tonic. Why look classy when you can act like a gross animal?

Can I drink this in my dorm room?:
Sure, but ants turn into bed bugs. That’s just bug science for you.

Does A Bug’s Life deserve a sequel at this point?:
Do you deserve this delicious gin? We all need to take some time to reflect on what this country really needs.

We mixed it with:
Some good ol’ dirt and some dead flowers from outside! You can taste the crunchy ant bones.

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