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Booze Review: Boxer Lager

Move over Natty Light, there’s another cheap shitty beer college kids love to hate. Boxer Lager comes in at a whopping 5.00% alcohol content, with a taste like it’s something found at the very bottom of the food chain. If you think you need to wean yourself off Natty, here’s a chance to inform yourself on an alternative.


Grade: D+


Smells Like:


Blue Moon that’s been sitting out for 36 hours.


Typical Drinkers:


– 16-year-olds who steal from their older brothers’ alcohol stash.


– Recently unemployed truck drivers.


– Everyone from the state of Alabama, probably.


– The kitchen staff at a hole-in-the-wall diner.


– Your backwoods grandma that just went to jail for making moonshine in an old washing machine in the middle of the forest.


User Comments:


– “This’ll get us nice ‘n f***ed up for the NASCAR race!”


– “Hurry up and chug these, our trailer park’s power is out so we can’t keep them cold.”


– “Yeah, I guess I’ll just take my cousin to prom. The one with more teeth and the lazy eye.”


– “Let’s watch another episode of Trailer Park Boys and play lawn darts!”


Best Described As a Drink Superior To:


Watered-down gasoline mixed with sadness and regret.


Best Occasions to Drink It At:


-Any event held in or around a barn.


-If it’s in a 40oz, definitely an Irish funeral.


-A Family Guy season premier.


– Your cousin Johnny’s wedding to your sister.


Would Charlie Sheen Drink It?


Charlie Sheen would rail an 8 ball of cocaine, party with strippers all night, fight a bear, and still would turn down a single sip of Boxer Lager.



WATCH: We hit the streets of Chicago’s St. Patty’s Day Parade to see how woke people were.


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