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Booze Review: Shellback Silver Rum

Ah, how time flies. That’s right kids, around just under a year ago, your pals at this wondrous publication took our first trip down the Caribbean rabbit hole with Shellback Spiced Rum. We ended up giving this sea foam specimen our highest honors (second only to REDD’s Apple Ale®, the official drink and sponsor of The Black Sheep)and even dubbed it the “God of Rums” without getting permission from the Big Guy Upstairs himself. Having said that, Shellback Spiced Rum’s equally attractive sibling, Silver Rum, also deserves its time in the spotlight. Luckily, we had no problem helping a liquor-based brother out.

 

Smells Like: The pristine aroma of freshly harvested silver from your fantasy world of choice. Wait… is silver harvested? Minted? Whatever, it’s silver.

 

Tastes Like: You know how Shellback Spiced had that chocolatey, borderline-caramelized aftertaste that made love to our collective taste buds? Silver’s pretty much on point with that as well in its citrusy goodness. So, your taste buds are now engaged in a back-to-back rum-based threesome. Stay safe.

 

Typical Drinkers:
– Elven warriors, but not like, the geeky kind.
– The other eponymously-titled Most Interesting Man in the World.
– Poseidon and the rest of “the fellas at the pub on Fridays.”
– We probably referenced aged yet wise seamen from the first Shellback review, right? It’s no different this time around.

 

User Comments:
– “Oh, right, Shellback has a silver flavor, too. Yep, we’re going to do this again.”
– “God… is… is that you? It’s me. I’ve arrived. Is this Nirvana or Valhalla? I’m cool with either, really.”
– “Is it ‘Shellback’ because of some sort of implied tortoise imagery? If so, holy shit, dude… imagine having an actual shell back.”
– “Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt. Classic Orwell.”

 

You’ll Like This if You Like: Reasonably-priced rum that doesn’t have that “icky, brown color” you keep bitching about. Quit being a picky asshole, Karl.”

 

Best Described as a Prodigal Swedish Songwriter and Record Producer: Shellback, the prodigal Swedish songwriter and record producer.

 

What Tex Mex Would Say if He Saw You Drinking This: “Really not understanding how you keep breaking into my apartment. Like, you’re a new friend… but stop.”

 

Common Food Pairing Suggestions: Burgers adorned with fried eggs, those packets of saltines you snagged on the way out of the bistro, existentialism.

 

We Mixed With: RC, Sprite, a momentary lapse into epiphenomenal clarity.

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