The Black Sheep has uncovered a secret betting pool among CUMTD bus drivers for the fastest driving time during its peak ride times. This revelation comes after almost four years of exhaustive reporting and helpful tips from Mr. Darnell Jones and Mr. Lenny Smith, two CUMTD bus drivers whose identities have been changed for their protection.
“I’ve been struggling with this secret ever since I started driving a few months ago,” said Jones. “It’s terrifying to try and just miss all my stops and not be bullied into this sick bet.”
Smith said the point of the contest was originally to test the strength of the brakes on the buses, but unfortunately the contest has since escalated.
“We were instructed by CUMTD to test the hydraulic system, so we would press the brakes all the way down to the floor,” said Smith. “Then we just tried driving as fast as we could and then slam on the brakes hoping to miss one of those asshole bikers.”
“Now, we don’t even brake,” said Jones. “I don’t have enough money to pay for all these kids’ tuition that we hit!”
Jones says he gets harassed daily by fellow drivers on whether or not he’ll add some of his salary to the pool, which he claims has risen to over $20,000.
“It’s terrifying,” said a visibly shaken Jones, staring into his Espresso Royale coffee cup. “Just yesterday, my buddy Dennis and I were switching out as drivers, and he wouldn’t let me get off the bus until I gave him $100 to add to the pool for the week. He just kept yelling, ‘it’s for the good of the group!’”
Representatives from CUMTD refused to comment about the secret betting pool, but they did extend its concerns towards Jones and Smith and their current plight.
“It would be a shame if bus drivers didn’t fit in the current staff culture,” CUMTD said in a statement.
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