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U of I Daddy of the Week: Alex from Pi Kappa Phi

Name: Alex Ventrella
Twitter Handle:@alexventrella1
Year: Senior
Major: Ag-Accounting
Relationship Status: My left hand
Fraternity: Pi Kappa Phi
Boxers or Briefs?: Briefs

Which Kardashian sister would you choose to be your sugar mamí?:
Caitlyn Jenner. She once was a sugar daddy, and now she’s a sugar mamí, so she’s dynamic.

Sex with the lights on?:
I honestly don’t fucking care. Sex is sex and I’m just lucky to be having it in the first place.

At what age will you educate your children on the basics of butt stuff?:
Straight outta the womb. The basics of butt stuff are not being taught in public schools so I plan to homeschool my children and give them a proper education.

Why didn’t the gloves fit O.J.?:
He probably binge ate from the stress of murdering two people and his hands got fat.

Has your dad ever told you you were an accident?:
Every now and then he’ll send me a text reminding me that I was.

What did you spend your money for child support on instead of your neglected kids?:
Nose beers. I’d also frequent the Silver Bullet so much I’d probably get pink eye.

Which famous dictator, dead or alive, do you think secretly hangs mad dong?:
I know for a fact that the Führer laid pipe. That’s just common knowledge.

Why do you think you deserve to be Daddy of the Week?:
Because I have a dad bod, drink tons of beer, and was almost a dad on several occasions.

Why should people read The Black Sheep?:
They shouldn’t, The Black Sheep blows because Dugi is a liberal media cuck.

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