Name: Justin Laken
Twitter Handle: @jelgel27
Major: Graphic design
Relationship Status: Off the market
Fraternity: Alpha Epsilon Pi
Boxers or Briefs?: Briefs
What will Lil Uzi Vert name his children?:
Lil Uzi Vert Jr. and Lil Lil Uzi Vert.
Why do doves cry?:
They are sensitive creatures.
Is it warm enough to start grilling outside yet?:
Yes– as long as you rock the apron, and only the apron.
How do you plan to stop your children from eating Tide Pods?:
Our family will always label our snacks, so the pods will be on the top shelf labeled, “Daddy’s snacks, don’t touch!”
What’s your biggest daddy issue?:
I only have two shoulders to cry on, so one of my kids is gonna have to wait their turn.
Why is Bob Ross the ultimate daddy?:
You’ve seen his brushstrokes on the canvas…now imagine his strokes in the bedroom.
Was the moon landing faked? Why or why not?:
I’m really not sure, but Operation Avalanche is a decent mockumentary.
Tell us a dad joke:
Dad: “You’re grounded for a month.”
Son: “Surely you are kidding.”
Dad: “I’m not, and don’t call me Shirley.”
Why do you deserve to be Daddy of the Week?:
Every time I hear someone say, “Daddy,” I always check over my shoulder.
Why should people read The Black Sheep?:
A little-known fact is that The Black Sheep isn’t actually about sheep at all.
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