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Daddy of the Week: Justin from Alpha Epsilon Pi

Name: Justin Laken
Twitter Handle: @jelgel27
Year: Sophomore
Major: Graphic design
Relationship Status: Off the market
Fraternity: Alpha Epsilon Pi
Boxers or Briefs?: Briefs

What will Lil Uzi Vert name his children?:
Lil Uzi Vert Jr. and Lil Lil Uzi Vert.

Why do doves cry?:
They are sensitive creatures.

Is it warm enough to start grilling outside yet?:

Yes– as long as you rock the apron, and only the apron.

How do you plan to stop your children from eating Tide Pods?:
Our family will always label our snacks, so the pods will be on the top shelf labeled, “Daddy’s snacks, don’t touch!”

What’s your biggest daddy issue?: 
I only have two shoulders to cry on, so one of my kids is gonna have to wait their turn.

Why is Bob Ross the ultimate daddy?:
You’ve seen his brushstrokes on the canvas…now imagine his strokes in the bedroom.

Was the moon landing faked? Why or why not?: 
I’m really not sure, but Operation Avalanche is a decent mockumentary.  

Tell us a dad joke:
Dad: “You’re grounded for a month.”

Son: “Surely you are kidding.”

Dad: “I’m not, and don’t call me Shirley.” 

Why do you deserve to be Daddy of the Week?:
Every time I hear someone say, “Daddy,” I always check over my shoulder.

 Why should people read The Black Sheep?:
A little-known fact is that The Black Sheep isn’t actually about sheep at all.

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