Name: Tom Oeltgen
Twitter Handle: @Big_Game_Tom33 (I don’t tweet, I just use it for sports news)
Major: I’m open to suggestions.
Relationship Status: Desperate
Fraternity: Phi Kappa Psi
Boxers or briefs?: Depends on how adventurous I’m feeling that day.
What does D.A.D. stand for?:
Drinking All Day. (I’m trying to be a stay-at-home dad)
Your teenage daughter got caught shoplifting. WYD?:
Yell at her in front of her mom, but be nice once her mom leaves cause I’m a “cool dad.”
Creamy or chunky peanut butter?:
Chunky with a touch of honey cause I’m thick and sweet.
Are you a better or worse dad than Bob Saget?:
Better than Bob Saget but worse than Danny Tanner.
What did your kid do to earn a spanking?:
They ordered a steak well done.
Where do you set the cookie jar so your kids can’t steal from it?:
I put it right next to their hopes and dreams.
Are you one of those dads that watches golf?:
If by “watches golf” you mean “turns on golf so I have some background noise to fall asleep to,” then yes.
Tell us a dad joke:
Two antennas got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was incredible.
Why do you deserve to be Daddy of the Week?:
I probably don’t, but I filled out these questions so here I am.
Why should people read The Black Sheep?:
Well, you read all my answers for this, and the people at The Black Sheep are funnier than I am, so you should check out their other content.
Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb. Hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep corporate, Mackenzie Harding & Andrea Jablonski. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire. Subscribe to Talk of Shame: