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Experts: The GEO Protests Were a False Flag

During the recent GEO protests, disgruntled undergrads were shuffled from obscure classroom to obscure classroom to make way for picketing grad students. Both students and faculty found the strike to be disruptive, but everyone was surprised to learn who was really pulling the strings. Wendell Price, an aide (and now American hero) to Chancellor Robert J. Jones, blew the whistle earlier this week, and revealed that the protests were organized and executed by none other than the university’s dirty administration.

“For the amateurs, a ‘false flag’ is a covert operation that aims to implicate entities, groups, and individuals other than those actually carrying out the operation. Like when Bush framed the Saudis for the destruction of the World Trade Center, even though he obviously did it,” explained Price. “In our case, the university attempted to undermine support for the GEO by staging the most disruptive protest possible. This is a textbook false flag operation!”

Price then revealed the administration’s dubious methods, whose only intention was to screw over students.

“We made sure to start the protests with a bang at 8 a.m. sharp. We had protestors beat loudly on makeshift drums, and had them shove innumerable fliers into the hands of disinterested students. There was even an inflatable penis involved,” Price said. “And who could forget the awful singing? The singing was so close to awakening the South Quad Bell Tower MKULTRA sleeper agents. The protestors were, of course, on the university’s payroll the entire time.”

Never trust the Illuminati-controlled administration, as they look to disrupt your education and eat your tax money in doing so. The TAs are just here to suck the toes of Chancellor Robert J. Jones!

 

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