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U of I Senior Finance Major Gets Job Totally Not Because Father Owns Firm

UIUC senior Blake Smith, majoring in finance, revealed to Facebook friends and the world that he got a job at his father’s financial firm in Chicago.

“So blessed to reveal that I’m going to be working at Smith, Smith, & Jenkins after graduation in May,” humblebragged Smith on his Facebook Feed. His status was edited seven minutes later to include the comment, “It helps to know people that work there haha but for real I’m not unqualified, I promise lol.”

Smith said he wanted to make sure people knew his position was acquired not by nepotism, but by his “solid base of qualifications.”

“Blake was the captain of our frat’s flag football team this past fall,” said Jordan Lee, a senior and fellow fraternity brother of Smith. “I mean, we only had to pay a fine for not having enough people show up, like, four times.”



In addition to his activities in his fraternity, Smith was also proud to point out his membership in Phi Upsilon Kappa, a prominent business fraternity on the UIUC campus.

“Oh Blake? Yeah, that kid showed up to like, two meetings,” said PhiUK’s president Andrew Steele. “He always wears his letters around the BIF, but the only event he’s participated in is our unofficial Unofficial.”

Smith was less than excited to mention his living arrangements, but says it’ll “save some serious bank” for him in the long run.

“I’m going be stuck living at home with my parents for the first year,” Smith said. “It sucks that I’ll be commuting with my dad, but I’ll have so much money to ball out with at happy hour!”

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