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Feminist Movement Grips UIUC as Girls Spark Bongs Without Help From Frat Guys

Although 2018 has just begun, inspiring stories related to gender equality and feminism have already started circulating in the media. This past week, the university added to this movement when it was reported that UIUC sorority sister Jessica Coleman lit a bong at the Phi Zeta fraternity without assistance from any of the members of the frat.

“When I offered to light the bong for her and she politely declined, I was like…shit. Girls can light bongs by themselves? So like, girls are equal to guys, ya know?” recalled Phi Zeta member Kevin Martin. “It was like an epiphany for me. Maybe it was the weed, but I had this realization that women can do anything men can do, and the Women’s March really did have a purpose, ya feel?”

After news of this incident spread throughout Greek life on campus, the number of students registering for gender and women’s studies classes for spring semester increased by 25%, according to stats provided by Coursicle. In addition, restaurants on Green Street have reported an increase in bills being split between couples.

“I guess I lit it myself because I’m, like, a chill girl and just wanted to prove that I know how to light a bong,” explained Coleman. “I had no idea that when I sparked that bong, I also sparked a feminist movement throughout campus. It’s pretty inspiring, honestly.”

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