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Frat Guy Gets Septum Pierced After Attending First Urbana House Party

After attending his first Urbana house party, Delta Rho brother, Brad Hill, experienced a complete personal transformation. Hill’s friends were shocked when he began riding a penny board to class and reading Ayn Rand in his free time.

“He’s like a completely different person,” said Hill’s roommate, Ben Araya. “Last night when he got home from chapter he turned our entire living room into a recording studio.”

Hill expressed his excitement over the recent change in direction.

“I really feel like I’ve become one with myself,” explained Hill after taking a 20-second-long drag off a Newport. “Switching my major from business management to photography is a change I really needed.”

Not everyone, however, is quite as happy about the change.

“I don’t know what the hell he’s doing anymore,” said Adam Parker, a friend of Hill. “He invited everyone over for a pregame, and it was just a wine night where he played Mac Demarco albums and showed everyone his tattoos.”

Fortunately for Hill, he can never hear the criticisms over the sound of Death Grips.

“I’m feeling better than ever,” Hill reported while searching the hat section of the Champaign Goodwill. “Becoming a vegan has helped my body and soul … I can’t believe I ever ate at Fat Sandwich.”

For the next few weeks, Hill will be preparing pieces for a local art show being held at a friend’s studio apartment. Currently, there is no indication that he’ll return to dartying.

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