UIUC’s Iota Chi Epsilon has had the remainder of their social calendar cancelled after university officials caught wind of a philanthropy event they hosted this past Saturday evening. Starting around 8 p.m., the fraternity hosted their first and likely last ‘Pledges on Ice,” wherein they used their spring pledge class in lieu of stones to throw down the ice in a curling match to raise funds for hypothermia awareness.
Noah Travis, pledge class president of the Alpha Beta class of Iota Chi Epsilon, explained the event in graphic detail.
“They told us to take our shirts off, which immediately triggered me from prior pledge tasks,” Noah shuttered. “Then they shoved us down the ice. There must’ve been at least 200 people in the stands cheering them on. After the first couple of rounds, my nipples could’ve cut through diamonds.”
But members of the fraternity have come to the events defense, including Iota Chi Epsilon’s Vice President Richard Yang.
“Nationals threatened to revoke our charter after embezzling money from our previous philanthropy event so we had to come up with something new,” noted Yang. “I really don’t think we did anything, given that pledges aren’t real people. And you know what? The tickets for that event sold quicker than an eight ball of blow in the Red Lion Cocktagon.”
While the fraternity has given their pledges the cold shoulder, they certainly gave them a better understanding of what their philanthropy is all about.
Drunk people say the darndest things: