UIUC freshman Rebekah Matthews is adjusting to her new life in Champaign, including her new roommate, Monica Kaitlin Ashley-Butters, since moving into the third floor of Weston Hall last Thursday.
“I met Kaitlin back on the UIUC Class of 2020 Facebook group through a post she made back in mid-March,” Matthews said. “Her Facebook name was Kaitlin Ashley, which is her middle and one of her last names. I had no goddamn idea her name is actually Monica Butters. I couldn’t believe her last name was Butters and she was proud to go by it. It was unbearable.”
UIUC’s Class of 2020 Facebook group consists of detailed posts about the lifestyles, interests and habits of incoming Illini freshmen. The Black Sheep was able to get their hands on Butters’ original post from early March:
“Hi guyssss! My name is Kaitlin Ashley and I’m from Naperville, Illinois, a suburb about 45 minutes southwest of Chicago! I’m going to be graduating from Naperville Central HS (GO REDHAWKS!) in June! My major is undecided, but I have a ton of interests in a lot of areas and things! School is v important to me, but so is making time for all of my friends and for going out! I’m looking for a fun, spunky, outgoing girl that doesn’t mind lazy Sundays with Netflix! I want to live in the 6 Pack, hopefully in Wassaja, Bousfield or Nugent! Add me so we can be friends!”
Matthews felt Butters would be a dandy choice to spend the year in the Ikenberry Commons with, until she started to realize she might be being catfished by her new roomie.
“Monica, contrary to popular belief from the 12 likes her post got in the group, doesn’t have a ton of interests in a lot of areas and things,” Matthews noted. “She sits there on her bed in our room all day, sitting up and staring into space with the lights turned off. I don’t think she’s left the room since we moved in.”
But the disgruntled freshman was most upset by her roommate’s difference between her post and actions on Sunday.
“Don’t get me started on what happened on Sunday!” Matthews said. “She got crunk and invited a guy from Tinder back to our dorm! Let’s just say they didn’t Netflix and chill like she said she wanted to on Sundays.”
Matthews’ parents knew choosing a random roommate off of a Facebook group wasn’t the best idea.
“You can’t trust the kids on the interwebs these days,” said Susan Matthews, Rebekah’s mother. “They sell dope online and look at those meme things all days, very sketchy if you ask me.”
Luckily, Matthews has a positive attitude going forward with her situation between her Butters, and the rest of her collegiate career.
“It could be worse, I guess.” Matthews said. “Monica could’ve been one of those people that plays video games on her laptop until 2 a.m.!”
Fortunately, Matthews found a silver lining with going to school in Champaign.
“I saw somewhere on the Internet that Champaign’s getting a Portillos!” Matthews said. “If it was on the Internet, it must be true!”