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Red Lion Permanently Bans Girls Moaning Every Time Bouncers Puts Their Wristbands

Red Lion has recently ban all girls moaning upon entry to the bar after one too many incidents involving wristbands.

 “I honestly didn’t even know I was moaning,” explained Monica Deluca. “I like being tied up, but how is it my fault for instinctively acknowledging my pleasure?”

 Deluca has been reportedly moaning and biting her lip every time the Red Lion bouncer wraps a wristband around her wrist.

 The bouncer told Deluca he was given permission from his manager to tell her to ‘”never come back into this bar again” the next time she tried to enter.

 “Bro, she sounded like she was having an orgasm,” noted Saturday night bouncer John Stanward. “Like that’s nasty dude, I was hella uncomfortable.”

 Deluca showed much remorse for having to spend her weekends at KAM’s and Joe’s for the rest of the school year.

 “Red Lion plays the best remixes to The Chainsmokers songs,” cried Deluca. “Now I have to listen to second-rate remixes while drinking Blue Guys.”

 Stanward, unfortunately for Deluca, warned his bouncer friends at every other campus bar.

 “Yeah man I sent them all a pic of this chick so they know not to give her a wristband,” Stanward reported. “This girl is nuts, get her ass expelled.”

 Jim Tanford, a KAM’s bouncer, made a plan to deal with Deluca that ended up backfiring.

 “I was just going to give her a 21 stamp,” Tanford explained. “But I pressed the stamp too hard and that chick still moaned. Unbelievable.”

 

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