The College of Liberal Arts and Sciences is known for being a school full of business rejects, the College of Media is irrelevant besides all those advertising majors, and no one knows what ACES is. Sure, engineers have bragging rights when it comes to intelligence, so it may be intimidating walking into a room of people who are smarter than you will ever be. But, if you’re willing to make the long trek to Grainger, here are five ways to make yourself look like less of a dumbass while you’re studying.
5.) Type As Loud As You Can:
The louder you type, the more people will look at you and think, “damn, they’re getting shit done!” Engineers are always typing random numbers and letters into their laptop, so this will help you fit right in. Plus, if you go fast enough, it will seem like you know what you’re doing. This step can be done by typing complete nonsense into a Word doc. As long as people notice you, it’ll work.
4.) Take Up a Full Table With All Your Unnecessary Stuff:
Bring every single textbook and binder you have. Engineers always complain about how much homework they have, but this is your chance to show them they aren’t the only ones that don’t sleep for 3 days because of an assignment they procrastinated on. A key element of this step is to make sure to keep your JOUR 105 and CMN 102 books underneath the pile. You don’t want them to know you’re in 100-level classes!
3.) Do Not Wear Greek Letters:
This says “I’m a geed by choice, because I’m too busy being smart.” Grainger is the only place on campus where being a geed is acceptable. Engineering geeds will automatically belittle you if they see you in Greek letters. They’ll think that you spend all you time drinking Burnett’s and icing out at Red Lion. Even though this may be true, you CANNOT boost an engineer’s ego higher than it is already.
2.) Post a Picture on Your Snapchat Story to Make Sure People Know You’re There:
Part of tricking people into thinking you’re smart, is convincing yourself that even if you’re a struggling LAS student, you’re also a James Scholar-level civil engineer. A good idea is to post a Snapchat story with a caption that lets people know this isn’t your first time on the Engineering Quad. Your Snapchat friends that you don’t know very will now think more highly of you, and even though your close friends will be confused, that’s a risk you must take. Reputation is everything.
1.) Bring Your International Friend:
It’s no secret that most international students attend UIUC for the engineering program. Everyone has a foreign engineering friend, and you should use them to your advantage to make yourself look smart. Don’t be that clueless freshman, or first-time Grainger attendee, who is walking around every floor trying to find a table. Let your smart friend guide you, and show you what a real library looks like. This will make you look less stupid than you feel.
So go and hit the books at Grainger. It’s only a little bit intimidating but your IQ will raise a few points even though you’ll surely bomb your midterm. Remember to put your headphones in over the conversations about how large their starting salary is.