Our friends at the Wisconsin Black Sheep wrote an article last week about what Big Ten schools would be if they were types of potato dishes. UIUC was the hash brown for some reason.
Although your school can be considered a baked potato, you probably haven’t thought which 90s sitcom character your Big Ten school is.
Wisconsin: Ross Geller (Friends)
Really awkward, uncomfortable, but surprisingly very smart. Nobody ever complains about Wisconsin or Ross.
Rutgers: Beavis (Beavis and Butthead)
Maryland: Butthead (Beavis and Butthead)
Listen. We know nothing about these schools. We’d make stereotypes about them, but these aren’t real Big Ten schools. So there’s no better comparison than Beavis and Butthead.
Purdue: Tim Taylor (Home Improvement)
Tim Taylor ran a show about tools and Purdue is full of a bunch of engineers so they use a lot of tools because that’s what engineers do, we think.
Penn State: Steve Urkel (Family Matters)
From our widespread knowledge of college football, we know they call Penn State “Happy Valley.” Steve Urkel is the happiest person in any 90s sitcom. Did we do that?
Ohio State: Fran Fine (The Nanny)
Nobody’s ever seen this show, but apparently she’s just a really annoying nanny that nobody likes. We just don’t like Ohio State and we aren’t excited to play them Dads Weekend.
Northwestern: Carlton (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air)
No better fit right here. Northwestern is preppy and snobby and doesn’t always seem to fit in compared to its big brother in the state, Illinois, but Northwestern finds a way to make it work. Carlton was preppy and was a total opposite from his “big brother” in the house, Will Smith, but Carlton found a way to make it work.
Nebraska: Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)
Homer Simpson has been described before to be one of the most out-there characters in television history. Nebraska – which is finally starting to grow on us as a Big Ten school – still seems a little out-there since it’s in the middle of absolutely nowhere: Lincoln, Nebraska. Has anyone actually ever been to Nebraska? Probably not…D’oh!
Minnesota: Kramer (Seinfeld)
It wasn’t known for most of the show’s run that Kramer had a first name, Cosmo Kramer. Now, we’re teaching you right now that Minnesota isn’t just the University of Minnesota, but rather the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities!
Michigan State: Will Smith (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air)
Will Smith never actually had any acting experience before the Fresh Prince. Similarly, students at Michigan State don’t have any academic experience before going to MSU.
Michigan: Doogie Howser (Doogie Howser, M.D.)
We haven’t seen Doogie Howser, but we were shocked when we found out that people wasted their time watching an ABC show about a kid doctor. Anyway, Michigan is known for its medical school and Dougie is a doctor!
Iowa: Chandler Bing (Friends)
We make fun of Iowa and Chandler a lot just because they seem like easy targets to pick on. However, we really do like you both. Like, deep, deep down.
Indiana: Uncle Jesse (Full House)
They’re really cool and hip and have good flow, but you wouldn’t want to spend more than a weekend with IU… or Uncle Jesse.
Illinois: Roseanne (Roseanne)
Fat, obnoxious, and has a lot of problems to take care of in her life. Similarly, Illinois fattens their kids up. We’re obnoxious because we can’t stop telling people that we’re the #1 party school in the country, and we have a lot of problems to take care of (Phyllis, Beckman, budget). But at the end of the day, it’s a reliable show and everyone likes it, just like your great ole’ Illinois.
Even though each Big Ten school has their differences, we’re the best conference out there that’s home to decent football and a great university in Champaign, IL.